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Older Peoples diagnosis for ASD

tracygirlyy

Hi all, I have a son who has just been diagnosed with an ASD luckily i have lots of help within my school and getting lots of info we were also offered the genes test but as we are out of the UK this is hard to do at the moment so will do later, has anyone had this test and gave any answers?  The reason I am asking is me and my husband think his mum maybe on the spectrum she is in her 60's.  A lot of family have fallen out with her as if things dont go her way she throws a fit and stops talking to anyone, then expects everyone to speak a few weeks later no questions asked.  She always says rude things out and about and doesnt bat an eyelid, my husband says when he was younger christmas was always cancelled and holdiays as something would go wrong and she would throw a fit, I know it sounds random but it answers a lot of questions along the years, she also remembers dates to the t and also talking to her daughter after my sons diagnosis she actually bought it up before i did she hasnt spoken to her mum for years after a falling out.  How would I bring something like this up to her to see if she would see someone should i leave some reading material next time i am home with reference to my sons diagnosis and see how it goes?  would be grateful for any info as this would provide lots of answers for family who currently dont talk to her.

  • Unfortunately I lost my granny a couple of years ago.  About a year before that we realised that me, my Mum, and my granny, all show Asperger's symptoms.  It explained a lot why my granny managed to upset people by saying the wrong thing, being honest, etc.  She suffered a lot with depression and anxiety problems all her life.  So, where people have decided to not talk to her at all and cut her out of their lives, I never.  My Mum never.  It helped that another member of the family was diagnosed because it showed she wasn't the only one.  Not long after we realised that's why she is the way she is we went to a funeral together and she made some pretty innapropriate comments, which were supposed to be viewed as humour.  As being on the spectrum myself I understood why and I liked her '**** society' attitude, but a lot of people just seen it as rude and didn't want anything to do with her.  Unfortunately, some people are like that.  There isn't much we can do about it.  We can't make them be any other way as muc has we can't do it to someone on the AS.

    I suppose it depends on his mum's view on health support.  My gran had no problem going to the doctor.  Actually, she was there more than anywhere else.  So she was open to what was being said.  We bought her 'Asperger's for Dummies', which she enjoyed and related to.  It might be an idea getting some informatio nlike this, in a leaflet or book, if she isn't open to the idea.  Let her read it and see if she can relate to anything being said in it.

  • You might say to the elder relative: "my son has been diagnosed w an ASV. It effects him in the following ways..." The elder relative may then realise they have similar issues on their own.

    Further its quite possible the elder is privately aware of their condition but refuses to publicly acknowledge it as they see Autism as a failure to become a proper person...an attitude v prevalent in the past and not discouraged by the behavour of modern educators...

  • Me and my husband have been speaking about all the family and I used to say he was a lot like his mum the way he wanted things done certain ways and he is quite pig headed with things even he has said this and says when it comes into his head for the past few years he bit his lip so to say and tried to get over it.  My older son we think is affected too though never tested he is 17 now and when he was younger he didnt really speak until 5 and spent about 4 years in a speech and language unit and he has lots of ASD qualitites so were thinking of maybe testing him too.  We are going to visit his mum soon so i was thinking of just leaving some reading material for her to do with my youngest as she has always been involved with my children and she loves them dearly and like you say maybe she will come around if i talk about genes and stuff but not bombard her with it outrightly as like you say she wont listen and accept it.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Your situation sounds very like my own family. I have an aunt and a couple of uncles who I think are on the spectrum. They won't speak to each other as they won't apologise and they will say things that they shouldn't!

    Do you think your husband is somewhere on the spectrum too? This seems quite likely in the crcumstances.

    I have tried to suggest to the aunt that she is affected but she is so pig headed that she won't listen and accept it. One of the uncles is much less affcted but is much more accepting that he might be on the spectrum too.

    I would recommend that you discuss your son's diagnosis, and your husbands likely diagnosis?, in her presence and say how this makes a positive difference to your lives. If she can be exposed to a positive image of the condition then she may be able to speculate whether she also is affected. I wouldn't suggest it directly to het but allow her to come to a realisation.