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friends judging my child

north london mum

hi all im probably over reacting a bit but im still waiting for an  assesment for my 2 year old wont be to probably december as was told 6 months waiting list i was at a freinds the other day and we were talking about my son she said if he has got autism its probably very mild and his just acting like a normal 2 year old when he has a tantrum as thats what 2 year olds do and he wouldnt be coming up to me for a cuddle if he had autism because children with autism dont do that i was quite hurt as she dose not see what i go through on a daily basis with my son ive had other friends say the same thing too i know they are being surportive but they just dont understand because some of them have even said he cant have that because autistic pepole have it really bad dont commnicate i just feel like screaming at them what do they know i have met so many people  with autism and aspergers and they walk talk just like the rest of us some days ive sat here and cried for my son and my freinds dont even know ive stopped telling them things now because i feel like they are judging my son behind my back sorry for the rant but i had to get this of my chest

  • Hello take care you have friends on here to help it seems your friends dont unstand and making it up has thay go all the best joseph

  • Hi, I read your message and can so relate to it, my little girl who has just turned 2 is being diagnosed at the moment, just waiting for appointments to come through!.

    I have family and friends that are very supportive and listen but my partner's family are the opposite and say she will be fine, she will grow out of it and it is the terrible twos!. My daughter is non verbal at the moment and get told all the time by them she will when she is ready!. She also suffers in social situations and they just say she is naughty!. I am hoping once the appointments come through they will understand. My rant overSmile.

    I have been very suprised how much support is out there for Autistic children and so happy that my little girl can attend a special nursery and school when she is ready. I think we are all on a wonderful roller coaster with our children, learning everyday.

     x

  • thankyou its nice to know that im not just going out of mind and its just me being a over proctective mum it is hard when talking to friends espeicaly those who do not understand but ive also been quite lucky with some who have been very understanding one of my friends 9 year old has aspergers and she has been a briallnt surport network for me as she understands what i am going through i just wish this appointment would hurry up now just so we can then put the best action plan into place for our son his also been offerd a place at nursery early which i really hope will help him with his speech but i know its all up to him but when he smiles at me and laughs he mkaes me smile and reminds me what a beautiful healthy little boy we have thank you both for your kind words and surport really has helped alot i reacently watched temple grandin story and watching what she went trough and her words really hit home i cried so much as it was like massive eye opener for me because what she said about children with autisim there behaviour she described my son also her story touched my heart too to think how she struggled in life but then showed all those who doubted her that it could be done she truley is an amazing lady :)

  • Hi - I think what you are describing has happened to a very large number of parents of autistic people.  I find it infuriating to say the least!  I have had people tell me there is nothing wrong with my child for the very same reasons - he likes a cuddle, he can talk etc.  I've even had people more recently say that, despite him having a diagnosis, the doctors have got it wrong because 'a friend of a friend has an autistic child and he can't speak at all'...  On the whole, I think these comments are coming from a good place, friends trying to reassure you and tell you everythings going to be ok.  I don't think they realise that they are undermining you and that their comments show a complete lack of understanding.  To be completely honest with you, a few years on, very few of those people remain in my life.  The ones who refused to educate themselves further, who continued to remain ignorant on the subject, don't have a place in our lives anymore - not in a nasty way but just that our lives have taken different paths and we don't 'fit' quite right anymore.  I prefer the people around me to be able to offer support and love for my family than question me and put me in a position where I am having to explain negatives of my childs behaviour.  I prefer to share all the great things about my child and my family, all the achievements, with people who truly understand.  Smile

  • hi,

    i dont think your over reacting at all, my little girl was diagnosed in may this year but i had a feeling long before, i tried to explain to people but no one understood/ or just claimed she was naughty, i have had complete strangers tut and sigh at my daughter when she is out as they think she is naughty, when i try to explain they tell me that autism is just a cover up word for naughty. i have stopped talking to friends and family because no one understands or wants to accept autism, i hope i have helped