Aspergers or just doesn't give a fig...

Hi

I am struggling to understand the workings of my ex right now.  I like to think his callousness is because his aspergers prevents him from seeing the hurt he is causing rather than thinking he doesn't give a fig.  At least them it would seem a deliberate act on his part and something I could deal with.

anyway, he has recently had another child.  Our children have access to his social media website and it is full of gushing comments and photos of the half sibling.  There is never ever  any mention of our sons and any comments they post disappear rather quickly.  In fact I doubt many of his new circle of friends even know he has any other children.

It pains me to see him posting all these comments about his son that are then read by our sons, who never ever get a mention.  There are no pictures of our sons or comments about them, it's as if they don't exist in his new world.

I can't talk to my ex as he becomes extremely aggressive and doesn't see how favouring one child over his other children affects them.  Our sons have aspergers and although they have nothing against their half sibling I can see that they are hurt by how their father doesn't seem to give a fig about their feelings.  Our youngest didn't even get a birthday card or present last year.

I suppose I just wanted to know if this could be mindblindness or the signs of someone who as I said earlier doesn't give a fig.

Welcome your comments.

Parents
  • I don't agree when some people (I'm not saying you, just saying this as a general comment) say people on the autistic spectrum are agressive, and they are just agressive because of that.  Normally they are agressive because they are frustrated and with the right support it can be helped (maybe not gone altogether but reduced hopefully).  So, you shouldn't feel you can't express your concerns to him, or even a GP or social worker.  If you feel the agression, or anything else, concerns you then it's needs addressed, especially when children are involved.

Reply
  • I don't agree when some people (I'm not saying you, just saying this as a general comment) say people on the autistic spectrum are agressive, and they are just agressive because of that.  Normally they are agressive because they are frustrated and with the right support it can be helped (maybe not gone altogether but reduced hopefully).  So, you shouldn't feel you can't express your concerns to him, or even a GP or social worker.  If you feel the agression, or anything else, concerns you then it's needs addressed, especially when children are involved.

Children
No Data