Hatred and dread of Christmas

[Please don't read this if you like Christmas, I don't want to upset anyone or criticise what they enjoy!!!]

I am only just recovering from last Christmas, and I'm painfully aware that in 4 months all the hype is going to start again.

I've started writing down and keeping notes every year about how dreadful I feel at Christmas, so that I know it's just an annual thing that happens every year and then passes (although it's taking it's own good time this year).

I HATE all the hypocrisy: the manipulative advertising, the "it's Christmas so we have to make sure the homeless are fed - we don't care about them at all the rest of the year" attitude from certain people who are extremely wealthy, the dreadful music, the way we're pushed into having to believe it's "the most wonderful time of the year".

I get panic attacks, I feel like the world is about to end. This goes on for weeks. I can't get out from under it, and nobody understands (including me) why I can't do that.

I avoid it as much as I can, and now I don't have young children that's quite easy when I'm at home.

I have had some serious trauma experiences in the past (40+ years ago) at Christmas time, but that doesn't explain it.

I think it's the HYPOCRISY! The lies about how beautiful and wonderful Christmas is, how it cures all ills, how everyone has to be nice to each other because it's Christmas - but the rest of the year they can get on with just ignoring / being nasty.

I'm really dreading next Christmas because this just seems to be getting worse.

I also really like all the lights, etc. If the whole thing only lasted a week, and the advertising wasn't so sickening, I think I would enjoy it.

Is it just me? Does anyone understand?

Parents
  • A few years ago my mother arranged a huge Christmas party for extended family. I forgot that she wanted us to bring a present for the kids because she was having a Buddy the Elf impersonator come in to hand out the presents. My kids were the only ones that did not get a present out of the guy’s sack, and my Autistic daughter had a HORRIBLE meltdown. All eyes turned towards me.

    We fixed it by giving her one of her presents from her grandparents early and thankfully she’s forgotten about the incident by now, but the damage was still done to me. I already hated Christmas season. Now it’s completely unbearable because of that traumatizing incident. Even during the offseason if I remember that moment (like now) I am filled with horror and my heart rate goes up.

    My wife doesn’t understand it because whenever I mention it she’s just like “Oh it wasn’t your fault, it was your mom’s for not reminding you or telling me at all.” But that’s not the point. Every Christmas is another opportunity for me to ruin the experience for someone else.

Reply
  • A few years ago my mother arranged a huge Christmas party for extended family. I forgot that she wanted us to bring a present for the kids because she was having a Buddy the Elf impersonator come in to hand out the presents. My kids were the only ones that did not get a present out of the guy’s sack, and my Autistic daughter had a HORRIBLE meltdown. All eyes turned towards me.

    We fixed it by giving her one of her presents from her grandparents early and thankfully she’s forgotten about the incident by now, but the damage was still done to me. I already hated Christmas season. Now it’s completely unbearable because of that traumatizing incident. Even during the offseason if I remember that moment (like now) I am filled with horror and my heart rate goes up.

    My wife doesn’t understand it because whenever I mention it she’s just like “Oh it wasn’t your fault, it was your mom’s for not reminding you or telling me at all.” But that’s not the point. Every Christmas is another opportunity for me to ruin the experience for someone else.

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