Hatred and dread of Christmas

Yes, I love the pagan idea of it being the time of year when the Earth goes into hibernation in preparation for waking for the new year in the spring. All the tat is so awful. It feels like the opposite of the original purpose of the winter celebration. Also the opposite of the Christian Christmas thing (I am not Christian but I think a lot of Christmas is so opposite to what Jesus was promoting).

Maybe that is a way through this: to try to focus on what does feel important at this time of the year with the winter festival and solstice. 

Thank you.

When Christmas Day arrives, that's when it usually starts to lift. My husband cooks Christmas lunch (I used to do beans on toast when I was responsible for it, I've never cooked traditional Christmas lunch) and I just sit there and feel layers of weight start to break up and lift off me. 

I used to self medicate with alcohol. Since I stopped drinking 2 years ago, that has really made Christmas worse (although I'm 100% convinced that drinking alcohol again is the worst thing I could do). There's nothing to take the edge off when it gets really overwhelming and I run out of things to distract me.

Johnboy412000 said:

I'd make my own bit of something

Yes, that's a very good way of making your day special. I make different things each year. Christmas cake is very expensive to make but a Dundee or Victoria Sandwich [marzipanned and iced] is just as tasty. And I always buy myself a present , a tool, clothes, plants etc.  I'm sure your wife would want you to have a happy life and celebrations of all kinds are important.

I don't like Christmas much either since my wife passed away in 2016. When i got back in to work in 2020 I chose to work every Christmas being a Then Care assistant it took my mind off things. But this year will be different I'm now retired but my Niece god bless her will probably come and whisk me to hers for a meal on one of the days. Living in a retirement complex there maybe something going on but I'd be just as happy to stay on my own and although I'm not a brillaint cook I'd make my own bit of something. I'll probably just treat it as a normal period. No thrills or spills. 

TheCatWoman said:

look into the history of winter festivals and sort of work around the comercial xmas thing in your head?

Excellent idea.

Bee68 said:

I have had some serious trauma experiences in the past (40+ years ago) at Christmas time, but that doesn't explain it.

Are you sure about that?? Trauma often comes back because it has hyper-strong triggers. Christmas is certainly full of triggers for many. If you dread it beforehand, that sets up a negative vibe. From what you say, Christmas is important for you but you feel hype spoils what could be a different kind of celebration for you; a magical, quiet reflective season. If it were me I would start to deal with it now with a determination things will be different this year. Could you go into a sort of hibernation for the weeks before Christmas, imagining all the adverts are aimed at others whilst you hyper-focus on something else?  Perhaps you could start planning very early, focusing on how you will spend Christmas week, just as you plan for birthdays and family celebrations. Hope this helps.

I live in the countryside away from advertising hoardings, but it's still on tv, I record it and FFW the ads, it is still everywhere, but it's more manageable.

I like the winter festival, the Solstice celebrations, I'm not into shiney tat, but I do like my xmas tree and decorating is a yearly ritual, a way of remembering and honouring the past through memories from childhood and welcoming in a new year and a new season.

Maybe you could look into the history of winter festivals and sort of work around the comercial xmas thing in your head?

Yes! I fantasise about going to a really remote part of Scotland for a month, where I can just pretend it's not happening.

My headcannon (No doubt someone here will correct/validate me either way) is Christmas was only made to give people something to look forward to and spend money on during a naturally depressing part of the year. Sadly for me Christmas just makes this time of year even worse, akin to putting a red bow on a dog turd. Everyone seems to be in a rush and it gets dark so early, so every day feels like a race against the clock but we're supposed to be happy because "It's Christmas". Even as a kid I wasn't high on Christmas, I found Christmas usually had me 1. Open the presents and be depressed by 1pm as it's basically an entire blank day with nothing to do and nowhere open. 2. Go to a large scale family gathering full of people who didn't know me discussing subjects that had zero interest to me, those were awful, and I do resent my mother for taking me to them knowing how drained they made me.

I don't want to say I fully detest Christmas, because there's lots of people I know who love it, but I've often had fantasies about holidaying somewhere like Egypt or Morocco for the Christmas period. It's MUCH more bearable since meeting my other autistic friend as we tend to spend a day together on boxing day watching comforting movies to help me self regulate.

But there's nothing worse than been alone, mentally struggling or sick during the period. What I will say is, I'm only 27, but I do feel less and less people get festive now where I live. Then again, each year I get more and more shut off from society.

The hypocrisy is awful though. "The most wonderful time of year" If it was you wouldn't need to tell me that!

Yes, I've noticed that some channels change their name to "Christmas films / whatever" in about June or July.

I also hate the hypocrisy around christmas such as, helping the homeless at christmas. They should be helping them all year round.  Soppy Christmas films.  I dont mind them around christmas,  but one freeview channel is showing them all year round.