Hatred and dread of Christmas

On thing I do enjoy is making a Christmas cake. I bought the ingredients quite cheaply from Lidl last year - a big bag of mixed fruit and some glacé cherries 

I would appreciate a toy as a Christmas present. Quite interested in those Lego kits for adults. Also a fan of soft toys!

Unfortunately it is the need for all this planning that makes it all so stressful for me. That's why the dread starts in September as I know I need to start around then.

A few years ago my mother arranged a huge Christmas party for extended family. I forgot that she wanted us to bring a present for the kids because she was having a Buddy the Elf impersonator come in to hand out the presents. My kids were the only ones that did not get a present out of the guy’s sack, and my Autistic daughter had a HORRIBLE meltdown. All eyes turned towards me.

We fixed it by giving her one of her presents from her grandparents early and thankfully she’s forgotten about the incident by now, but the damage was still done to me. I already hated Christmas season. Now it’s completely unbearable because of that traumatizing incident. Even during the offseason if I remember that moment (like now) I am filled with horror and my heart rate goes up.

My wife doesn’t understand it because whenever I mention it she’s just like “Oh it wasn’t your fault, it was your mom’s for not reminding you or telling me at all.” But that’s not the point. Every Christmas is another opportunity for me to ruin the experience for someone else.

TheCatWoman said:

a spud gun!

Great present! I always buy myself a present - it's a time to indulge yourself.

Our hardware shop/tat palace has a toy section, it's old fashioned pocket money toys like a bag of dinosaurs for a couple of pounds. I buy stuff from there pretty much every year for small silly presents, my step sons face was a picture when he unwrapped a potato, wondering if I'd really taken the idea of silly presents to whole new level, then he unwrapped the next present, a spud gun! It all made sense. I like to buy my adult children a toy or two, nobody buys you toys when you're a grown up, which is a shame.

I hate christmas. The way the country goes dead, and the feeling of isolation and loneliness that lasts the few weeks it goes on for.

After I came out as gay to my parents, it just got worse. I'd go see them but they were indifferent to me being there. I wanted christmas to be over so the world could go back to being 'busy' again.

Yes, the adverts of supposedly joyful "food" animals are quite literally disgusting (I am also vegan).

My children are 34 and 29 and I just buy them and their partners a litre of Southern comfort and a couple of other small things (dried mango, Bombay mix, etc), the same every year. This seems to work well - it certainly works very well from my point of view: they get something they like and I'm not stressing about what the heck to get them! I have 2 grandchildren now, though to try and figure out what to get for, but there's more of a feeling of space around that.

Tamarinda said:

I have two children (aged 16 and 20) and I feel a lot of pressure to make it a great day for them.

Start early and get them to make decorations and presents from scratch - art materials, things from charity shops. Wrap small presents, cheap things, so that by Christmas you've all forgotten what's inside the parcels. Make things like jam and chutneys, which can sit in a dark cupboard. There's lots of planning that could make your Christmas magical in anticipation.

I also dread Christmas. For me the dread starts around September. For me the stress is about the pressure to buy presents and know what to buy people. I have two children (aged 16 and 20) and I feel a lot of pressure to make it a great day for them. There are also a lot of social events such as work Christmas parties. The pressure is just too much.

The other thing I dislike is the consumerism and because I'm vegan ad an animal lover I hate the adverts which show close-ups of turkey and ham etc. 

There are aspects I enjoy. I like putting up the tree and having some mulled wine on 1st December. If I could just stay cosy inside watching Christmas movies and not have to do anything it would be OK.

pretty much!

To me, Christmas is basically another reminder of "Hey! another year is coming to an end! Here's a consolation prize for making it through another dread filled year!"

It definitely fills me with anxiety, makes me want to scream, actually, but at least the presents are nice. Like a lollipop after getting a needle from the doctor

If you think about it, Christmas is basically like the reverse Purge lol. Everybody has to be super nice and kind and generous to each other because it's the rules or something

Interesting. <3

I love elderflower cordial, and also alcohol free martini with fizzy water. 

These are all good ideas, thanks. :-)

Try getting a pile of DVD's you enjoy ready to play a festival for yourself. Also, fav snacks. I find drinks like elderflower cordial and fizzy water are as enjoyable as wine or champagne. also, try buying yourself presents during the year, wrap them and hopefully by Christmas you will have forgotten what's in them - include, a 'message in a bottle' written for yourself to open on Christmas day. Hope this helps!

Planning is part of the fun!!

I do like Christmas, but i understand!

I feel a lot of sadness and nostalgia at Christmas time, especially when I was working in a museum seeing all the families on their holidays having fun, than that would trigger me knowing i'll get the "you're an adult now" lecture and your mental health just declines. Now that I do not work right now, I still get the lecture from mental health support helplines which is very patronising and dismissive of my feelings. I still beg family for a day out and its just too sad!! 

I think winter solstice festivals around the world and through time have involved feasting and gift giving. The Romans had a day when someone in the household, often a slave was made "king" for the day and allowed to rule the house, often with the master and mistress of the house doing the cooking and serving to the slaves and staff that served them the rest of the year. This also happened at many medieval xmas courts.

The bringing in of greenery also has a long tradition, long before Prince Albert brought the German tradition of the Xmas tree to the UK. The baubles we hang on xmas trees are representations of fruits and rags. Rags, clootie wells, tying bits of cloth to trees has a long tradition going back into the mists of time, the rags carry the prayers and wishes, often for healing into the world. Fruits often symbols of fecundity are hung as sympathetic magic both to celebrate the previous harvests bounty but to hope for a good harvest in the years to come

I’ve just been presented with an ad, on social media, for booking a place at one of this year’s winter / Christmas villages!!

As far as making such as a Christmas dinner I'll buy stuff in from Morrisons already to just bung in the oven. Same with Christmas cake there's plenty choice on Morrisons and Mince pies etc. I get all my food shopping delivered. Bit early to think of all that yet though lol.