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Hatred and dread of Christmas

Bee68

[Please don't read this if you like Christmas, I don't want to upset anyone or criticise what they enjoy!!!]

I am only just recovering from last Christmas, and I'm painfully aware that in 4 months all the hype is going to start again.

I've started writing down and keeping notes every year about how dreadful I feel at Christmas, so that I know it's just an annual thing that happens every year and then passes (although it's taking it's own good time this year).

I HATE all the hypocrisy: the manipulative advertising, the "it's Christmas so we have to make sure the homeless are fed - we don't care about them at all the rest of the year" attitude from certain people who are extremely wealthy, the dreadful music, the way we're pushed into having to believe it's "the most wonderful time of the year".

I get panic attacks, I feel like the world is about to end. This goes on for weeks. I can't get out from under it, and nobody understands (including me) why I can't do that.

I avoid it as much as I can, and now I don't have young children that's quite easy when I'm at home.

I have had some serious trauma experiences in the past (40+ years ago) at Christmas time, but that doesn't explain it.

I think it's the HYPOCRISY! The lies about how beautiful and wonderful Christmas is, how it cures all ills, how everyone has to be nice to each other because it's Christmas - but the rest of the year they can get on with just ignoring / being nasty.

I'm really dreading next Christmas because this just seems to be getting worse.

I also really like all the lights, etc. If the whole thing only lasted a week, and the advertising wasn't so sickening, I think I would enjoy it.

Is it just me? Does anyone understand?

Parents

  • My headcannon (No doubt someone here will correct/validate me either way) is Christmas was only made to give people something to look forward to and spend money on during a naturally depressing part of the year. Sadly for me Christmas just makes this time of year even worse, akin to putting a red bow on a dog turd. Everyone seems to be in a rush and it gets dark so early, so every day feels like a race against the clock but we're supposed to be happy because "It's Christmas". Even as a kid I wasn't high on Christmas, I found Christmas usually had me 1. Open the presents and be depressed by 1pm as it's basically an entire blank day with nothing to do and nowhere open. 2. Go to a large scale family gathering full of people who didn't know me discussing subjects that had zero interest to me, those were awful, and I do resent my mother for taking me to them knowing how drained they made me.

    I don't want to say I fully detest Christmas, because there's lots of people I know who love it, but I've often had fantasies about holidaying somewhere like Egypt or Morocco for the Christmas period. It's MUCH more bearable since meeting my other autistic friend as we tend to spend a day together on boxing day watching comforting movies to help me self regulate.

    But there's nothing worse than been alone, mentally struggling or sick during the period. What I will say is, I'm only 27, but I do feel less and less people get festive now where I live. Then again, each year I get more and more shut off from society.

    The hypocrisy is awful though. "The most wonderful time of year" If it was you wouldn't need to tell me that!

Reply

  • My headcannon (No doubt someone here will correct/validate me either way) is Christmas was only made to give people something to look forward to and spend money on during a naturally depressing part of the year. Sadly for me Christmas just makes this time of year even worse, akin to putting a red bow on a dog turd. Everyone seems to be in a rush and it gets dark so early, so every day feels like a race against the clock but we're supposed to be happy because "It's Christmas". Even as a kid I wasn't high on Christmas, I found Christmas usually had me 1. Open the presents and be depressed by 1pm as it's basically an entire blank day with nothing to do and nowhere open. 2. Go to a large scale family gathering full of people who didn't know me discussing subjects that had zero interest to me, those were awful, and I do resent my mother for taking me to them knowing how drained they made me.

    I don't want to say I fully detest Christmas, because there's lots of people I know who love it, but I've often had fantasies about holidaying somewhere like Egypt or Morocco for the Christmas period. It's MUCH more bearable since meeting my other autistic friend as we tend to spend a day together on boxing day watching comforting movies to help me self regulate.

    But there's nothing worse than been alone, mentally struggling or sick during the period. What I will say is, I'm only 27, but I do feel less and less people get festive now where I live. Then again, each year I get more and more shut off from society.

    The hypocrisy is awful though. "The most wonderful time of year" If it was you wouldn't need to tell me that!

Children