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new and lost

jenjen74

hello

im jen - i have a 13 year old son who under going consultation for asc finding the whole thing daunting.

he has a history of wanting to harm himself,violent agressive outbursts,conforms at school extrememly academic but looses it at home - there only me and also my daughter 9 who his sibling.

family dont want to know - don't agree with the process nor want to accept this could be a huge possibility.in their eyes he short of a good hiding and some severe discipline. I split from their dad nearly 3 years ago and a lot of things have come to light since,more so since nov 2013 as my son tried to take his own life with a blind cord a week before my ex took me to court regarding contact with the children,my sons excuse was he didnt want to see his dad and thought this was the answer,but obviously not - emergency crisis team at a&e got involved and from then everythin has spiralled.....

appointments with camhs, speech and language and so many more...

Parents

  • Glad you feel less alone now, your story seems to be like many others. I too was told my sons behaviour difficulties were due to my poor parenting,because of his obvious academic ability teachers wouldnt contemplate anything else. That attitude just makes you feel so lonely, and makes you question yourself all the time which doesn't help at all.

    The frustrating thing is that primary school took the same approach with my younger son, even after the older one had been diagnosed and went from 100% school refusal, to 100% attendnce from day one at a special school for kids with ASD. The head even accused me of "trying" to get my younger one diagnosed, as if this is something I want to excuse the supposedly bad parenting, rather than getting the help my son needs to succeed!

    So glad you have found a more helpful secondary school who are actually listening to you and supporting you and your son. Good luck with diagnosis , statementing etc

Reply

  • Glad you feel less alone now, your story seems to be like many others. I too was told my sons behaviour difficulties were due to my poor parenting,because of his obvious academic ability teachers wouldnt contemplate anything else. That attitude just makes you feel so lonely, and makes you question yourself all the time which doesn't help at all.

    The frustrating thing is that primary school took the same approach with my younger son, even after the older one had been diagnosed and went from 100% school refusal, to 100% attendnce from day one at a special school for kids with ASD. The head even accused me of "trying" to get my younger one diagnosed, as if this is something I want to excuse the supposedly bad parenting, rather than getting the help my son needs to succeed!

    So glad you have found a more helpful secondary school who are actually listening to you and supporting you and your son. Good luck with diagnosis , statementing etc

Children
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