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Deeply lonely but unable to speak to people

Rach.Mo

Hi,

I’m feeling really distressed at the moment. I feel like I am unable to have conversations with people in the way that others do… I have nothing to say. I think this has always been a problem for me but is probably even worse than normal at the moment because I am burnt out and depressed… but I feel deeply lonely. I think I have always been in my own little bubble of hyper fixating on things especially people-pleasing and so have been oblivious to the things other people are interested in… music, tv shows, what’s going on in the world etc… and I therefore have nothing really to talk about. I find watching tv and reading and listening to the radio too painful at the moment as it just highlights to me the conversations and relationships that others have that I feel I don’t. I’m trying to work out the solution constantly in my head to not being able to speak to people but not being able to take an interest in things that would give me more to talk about… just wondering if anyone can relate to this and has any suggestions? 

Parents

  • Yeah, I can relate. To not been able to have "normal" conversations or even initiate one. Been totally out of the loop in regards to what is currently "in". Watching said things that are in and feeling depressed because every character seems to have a friendship or relationship you'd snap a hand off for. And yeah, wanting a connection but feeling genuinely incapable of making one, like sticking a European plug into an American socket, it just won't work no matter how much you try. 

    The only solace I've found are my own special interests that are held only be my in my friendship group/family (that way they don't remind me of others). I've kind of gave up with irl friendships due to the simple fact I am too autistic at face value to be 1. accepted, or 2. be accepted and not in a way that is pitying or infantilizing. At least online I can curate myself to look more neurotypical. Anyway, sorry I'm not of more help. Hope you have a nice day!

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  • Yeah, I can relate. To not been able to have "normal" conversations or even initiate one. Been totally out of the loop in regards to what is currently "in". Watching said things that are in and feeling depressed because every character seems to have a friendship or relationship you'd snap a hand off for. And yeah, wanting a connection but feeling genuinely incapable of making one, like sticking a European plug into an American socket, it just won't work no matter how much you try. 

    The only solace I've found are my own special interests that are held only be my in my friendship group/family (that way they don't remind me of others). I've kind of gave up with irl friendships due to the simple fact I am too autistic at face value to be 1. accepted, or 2. be accepted and not in a way that is pitying or infantilizing. At least online I can curate myself to look more neurotypical. Anyway, sorry I'm not of more help. Hope you have a nice day!

Children
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