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Is getting on extremely really well with people waaay younger than you a common thing with aspies?

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I don't really know how I could explain this but i'll probably type it all up as best as I can! I don't really know if this is a good thing or a bad thing to get on so well with people younger!

I'm 23 and male and found out I had aspergers like about a year ago, most of the time, I don't talk to hardly anyone cos I hate communication as I just find it too hard and difficult especially when there isn't anything to speak about.

But when my cousins come round, one's 10 years old and the other one is 11, I get on proper well with them and I just don't feel like my usual emotionless non speaking self at all! I feel really happy and cheery with them and I absolutly love their company, it's mainly because they love playing video games with me and I love playing video games with them as well, is it because of the special interest which bonds and make me be able to communicate? I feel like I fit in the knowledge level like I know what I'm talking about because I love talking about video games and especially when we were playing Diablo 3 Reaper Of Souls together, I just kept communicating with them what to do, what not to do in the game etc etc.

Too bad they don't hardly have enough time to come round and all that anymore like they used to. I had something in my mind all the time about this because I never understand nor feel interested in anything else other people talk about unless it's something I am really interested in. I feel like my brain is a 10 year old knowledge because I don't really have a adult mind, I definetly don't.

I done something that I feel guilty about today though because my Uncle was round and he had 2 of his kids one about 3 the other 6 years old, they kepy following the older cousins who I played video games with, because they never have enough time to stay with me to play video games nowadays, they had to go about 9ish and it was getting late and the 2 younger ones were taking ages to go, so I had to go downstairs and talk to my cousin saying come on you're taking ages just to do it on purpose so my Uncle hears as I want them to go so I could spend as much time as I can with the 2 cousins playing video games since we'll never see eachother for weeks! My uncle heard it and though I was targetting him but I wasn't! Anyway, just thought I'd include that in there.

But yeah.... is it actually appropiate to be getting on soo well with people way younger than you. Like the way I speak to my cousins, it doesn't even seem like I'm their bother but it feels like I treat them as my best friends ever! I want to be mature but I just can't at the same time, It's so stressful... confusing and because I'm an anxious person generally, I just worry about everything and always thing the negative points instead of the positive points. It does just feel awesome that I get on so well with them but at the same time it feels embarrasing like other people probably think I'm such a immature kid getting on so well with people that age but I don't think they'll ever understand my difficulties or if it is even that.

I don't even get on well with my closest friends I have who are actually the same age as me anymore because they really bore me when I hang out with them now, they do talk about funny stuff but it just feels like somethings missing.... it's probably because we all got older and they are too mature therefore talking about mature stuff and mainly things I don't understand... so now every Saturday, when I used to hang out wit them all the time, it turns out now that nearlly every Saturday I don't bother because I would rather be on my own, do all the things I enjoy and want to do on that day since I have work Monday to Friday and I feel I have no time what so ever.

Parents

  • This is an interesting topic-

    when i was 15/16 in foster care, i spent a lot of time with my 9 year old brother and his same aged friend- i played computer games with them, marbles and we created fictional games that had rules (i guess like Real-Life- RPG sort of thing)- and i didnt think much of it as long it was just us, as usually was indoors- when others were around i didnt do anything with them as i felt a little embarrassed and more wanted to fit it with others- but i wasnt around the others often enough for that to happen. I also remember that i came across an amazing anime series that was on the SKy television that got me hooked, so i had that in common with my brother and his friend.

    ONly when my behaviour was pointed out in a social work meeting, ie hanging out with two younger people, did i feel a great deal of humiliation and a bit of confusion too- it wasnt done in a nasty way, but also wasn't done to spare my feelings too much either. They saw it as me trying to "re-capture" my childhood, as from the age of 10 onward, a lot of very negative things happened at home, and in a way i was forced to become a "Dad" to my younger siblings as our parents stopped being parents- Selfish needs pretty much- why we ended up in social work care after years of lack of care.

    So this recapturing they believed was me. on a subconscious level, reverting back to when i was 10 years old, trying to recapture those lost years- and since i didnt have any real social life or friends at school that i hanged around with on a normal basis (to be fair, when i was in Foster Care tho, i lived 12 miles from the town i went to school to- and the reason they didnt change schools is because they didnt want to disrupt my education transferring to a new school)-

    So bringing this up in the meeting, as much as i felt humilated, they said they wanted to help me meet with people my own age and socialise me more, get me out of the house so to speak- was just all talk though as none of the ideas put forward came to fruition.

    I think this was another reason why i wasnt diagnosed with AS even at this time- it was greatly shadowed with my background and circumstance- i hung around with my brother and his friend, because that was all that round me and i was familiar with- i lived in a town 12 miles away from where i went to education, so none of the few friends i did have even lived there.

    This topic though has made me realise that maybe there was more to it than there seemed. Its not something i would do now, due to being a different circumstance, social norms and its just not something id be interested in as i have no need to. My interests tho are often not matched, and not on the same scale as myself.. so i do struggle immensley talking to people of similair age, as people dont like what i like talking about for longer than 15 seconds- even guys who are 10 years younger than me now, i have nothing in common with and often what i hear them talk about makes me cringe an switch off (ie football, going out to the clubs, "pulling this bird, that bird", he/she is this or that, ive got this car/ ipad/ App.. blah blah blah)-

    LivAgain= Quote="Children can be very intimidating and "cliquey"." - i find this to be the case with people no matter the age or sex. I hate people that are clique and go figure, most people become that way or just are that way- people do this to fit in and have an easy life- ive met people in a work place enviroment who are neutral and friendly enough when i first meet them (always they are a new worker)- with in a month of that person being in the work place, and being forced to socialise with people because of the team-based jobs at work that "New Person" sticks their nose up in the air at me now, and joins in with the "clique" when it comes to comments and even makes a few themselves- just for laughs.

Reply

  • This is an interesting topic-

    when i was 15/16 in foster care, i spent a lot of time with my 9 year old brother and his same aged friend- i played computer games with them, marbles and we created fictional games that had rules (i guess like Real-Life- RPG sort of thing)- and i didnt think much of it as long it was just us, as usually was indoors- when others were around i didnt do anything with them as i felt a little embarrassed and more wanted to fit it with others- but i wasnt around the others often enough for that to happen. I also remember that i came across an amazing anime series that was on the SKy television that got me hooked, so i had that in common with my brother and his friend.

    ONly when my behaviour was pointed out in a social work meeting, ie hanging out with two younger people, did i feel a great deal of humiliation and a bit of confusion too- it wasnt done in a nasty way, but also wasn't done to spare my feelings too much either. They saw it as me trying to "re-capture" my childhood, as from the age of 10 onward, a lot of very negative things happened at home, and in a way i was forced to become a "Dad" to my younger siblings as our parents stopped being parents- Selfish needs pretty much- why we ended up in social work care after years of lack of care.

    So this recapturing they believed was me. on a subconscious level, reverting back to when i was 10 years old, trying to recapture those lost years- and since i didnt have any real social life or friends at school that i hanged around with on a normal basis (to be fair, when i was in Foster Care tho, i lived 12 miles from the town i went to school to- and the reason they didnt change schools is because they didnt want to disrupt my education transferring to a new school)-

    So bringing this up in the meeting, as much as i felt humilated, they said they wanted to help me meet with people my own age and socialise me more, get me out of the house so to speak- was just all talk though as none of the ideas put forward came to fruition.

    I think this was another reason why i wasnt diagnosed with AS even at this time- it was greatly shadowed with my background and circumstance- i hung around with my brother and his friend, because that was all that round me and i was familiar with- i lived in a town 12 miles away from where i went to education, so none of the few friends i did have even lived there.

    This topic though has made me realise that maybe there was more to it than there seemed. Its not something i would do now, due to being a different circumstance, social norms and its just not something id be interested in as i have no need to. My interests tho are often not matched, and not on the same scale as myself.. so i do struggle immensley talking to people of similair age, as people dont like what i like talking about for longer than 15 seconds- even guys who are 10 years younger than me now, i have nothing in common with and often what i hear them talk about makes me cringe an switch off (ie football, going out to the clubs, "pulling this bird, that bird", he/she is this or that, ive got this car/ ipad/ App.. blah blah blah)-

    LivAgain= Quote="Children can be very intimidating and "cliquey"." - i find this to be the case with people no matter the age or sex. I hate people that are clique and go figure, most people become that way or just are that way- people do this to fit in and have an easy life- ive met people in a work place enviroment who are neutral and friendly enough when i first meet them (always they are a new worker)- with in a month of that person being in the work place, and being forced to socialise with people because of the team-based jobs at work that "New Person" sticks their nose up in the air at me now, and joins in with the "clique" when it comes to comments and even makes a few themselves- just for laughs.

Children
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