When did / What made you realise?

Yeah. Took a while. I have a very autistic/adhd family, but still, it only occurred to me about 3 years ago. 

As soon as it did, everything made sense. 

And pretty soon after that, I joined this forum!

I thought I was somewhat different to most people, but also thought that most people probably regarded themselves as unique. The thought of seeking help for anything that was not a physical problem never occurred to me at any time, so I only have a medical history of physical problems. I never placed my mental, sensory or behavioural problems before any clinician of any type. Essentially, I thought that everyone had problems like mine, but were just better at coping with them.

My knowledge of autism was limited to stereotypes, the silent child in a corner not interacting with anyone, Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain man'. I was nothing like any of the generally available autistic stereotypes, so why would I entertain any notion of myself being autistic? This changed when my daughter was taking a CBT course for anxiety and her therapist suggested that she might be autistic and, from my daughter's descriptions of me, that I might be as well. A bout of manic research into adult autism traits convinced me that being autistic was the best fit for how I am and best explained my strange problems and traits. This was a hugely liberating experience for me. I subsequently sought and was given a diagnosis.

when my boss asked me when I was diagnosed with Asburgers and I was like never. And when she told me that her brother has it and I show very similier trates, so I looked it up, and well 4 years later here I am Clincly diagnosed ASD.

Aged Four is very young to realise that you are different to everybody else.xx

I kinda always felt like that I didn't belong, it really isn't something that I can easily explain. It wasn't until I was 50 that someone finally asked the question during a mediation review for my TRD.

It should obviously really if you join the dots but since I was just me and I didn't have a different perspective how was I suppose to know.I have an autistic kid and a trans kid, so the writing was already on the wall. 

When I was assessed I was told that with my history I really should have been picked up earlier. It actually says on my diagnosis report that I actually have atypical autism or PDD-NOS which I've been told is just autism "lite" and it used to be classed as a sub autism diagnosis until the revised the last DSM.

Alien0n3arth said:

Aut-sider

Good one!

Yes I also felt different since ever. All kids played together and I went in circles and talked to myself or drew my beloved transportation routes in my imagined cities or generated other data that was actually useless but gave me a lot of joy. I couldn't understand why all of them are so obsessed with group gatherings, games etc.

But the term autism didn't come to my mind until I heard it.

My mom used ti say that I was just an outsider. I made recently kinda word hybrid out of Autism and outsider, and I got Aut-sider. That was me since ever 

You just ‘nailed it,’ I remember the first day of Nursery School, the other children all ran outside at playtime, I stood there and couldn’t workout why they wanted to play games and the concept of it all. The nursery school was held at a village hall, there was a stage at one end with dark red velvet curtains. They were normally open and I would hide in the middle of them. Another piece of the puzzle!

Attending Nursery School (age 4) was when I realised ...those children are not like me at all.

For me it was picked up at the start of school though they more leaned towards anxiety at first, then ADHD and then in my final year at school I was diagnosed with ASD.

But looking back the signs were there when I was little too

*Struggling to socialise 

*Never able to make friends 

*Always wearing the same things 

*Being hyper sensitive to some things like noise, touch, light, smells..

*Not being able to speak a lot of the time - 90% the time I'm non verbal can never find the right words so I just say nothing most of the time.

Even mums agreed the signs were there when I was growing up but it wasn't really noticed until I got to secondary school. I really struggled then so maybe it made these things worse and more noticeable?

Glad it's been found though, it's comforting to know why I'm different

Hi, here is my story as well as some other members replies on this topic. It's quite a long post so I decided its better to paste tge link directly. In my case it was an accident,  although there were suggestions from my teachers in primary school that I might be autistic,  but my mom denied that and she is still in denial, but the difference now is that I don't need her opinion or help anymore.

 Second anniversary diary 

It was accidentally,  how I realised that the description of autism surprisingly fits my experience. I'm still not diagnosed,  waiting for my assessment. It should be in october/November this year.

Ive always known im different and never fitted in. As a teacher I had training on ASD and recognised that I had traits but thought no more of it. I was told its a spectrum that everyone is on and that everyone has traits. I just assumed that I was somewhere on it but not autistic enough.

A few years ago I read a newspaper article about a woman who had just been diagnosed age 40. It felt like she was describing my life - always the outsider, felt like everyone else had been given a rule book, watched TV to try and learn how to behave etc. 

It took me a while to let it sit in my brain and take roots before I really started researching and then finally 12 months ago I went to my GP and started the ball rolling. I got diagnosed a few weeks ago. 

I realised when I was watching my youngest son struggle the same as I did at his age. I fought a long battle to eventually get a diagnosis and in turn made a nuisance of myself regarding school matters. He now has reasonable adjustments and support when he needs it and is transitioning to secondary school this year. This made me realise that I could perhaps have some adjustments, boundaries and to stop telling myself I didn’t matter. I also thought it would be useful for my son to not feel alone and like he is the only one with struggles. I got my diagnosis last year age 51 and may soon persue an assessment for adhd. 
Honestly speaking I never realised until later on as until my son was diagnosed I was unsure what autism looked like. Looking back with more knowledge I always felt different but I thought everyone perhaps felt the same as I did. 

I was shocked by how many little things I shrugged off for years made sense once I compared notes with other autistic folks. Hearing other people put words to stuff I thought was just my own weird quirks felt like someone switching the lights on. It helped me stop beating myself up and start looking at what actually works for me instead of trying to fit a shape that never felt right.

that's so iconic hahahaha

Almost turning 25 and realising that things I always thought I could change, I cannot understand enough to alter. Mostly social stuff like keeping friendships, responding to people, planning social outings, not knowing how to react to being called out for something I didn't know I was doing, not knowing what to say when someone is upset etc. Thought it was always because I was a *** person but turns out I genuinely do not understand how NTs think at all

I was suffering workplace stress in a toxic environment in mid life, and my GP sent me to a German Counsellor, who said she thought I had AS. Turned out she was right. It was a huge shock but explained my erratic, difficult life and relationships - also, why my parents were always at odds. I was also surprised when I realized I had an intellect, because I had often been described as 'below par.' I always wanted to go to University and did eventuallly, passing MSc. age 54!

I saw someone I worked with at a previous company put up a video about autism for disability awareness month on LinkedIn last July. My son was on the pathway, but I didn't actually know anything about it or knew anyone who was autisitc, so I thought I should watch and find out more to help my son. 

I was shocked as to how many of the problems and issues he (the person on the video) faced were the same as mine, as I didn't know anyone else had them. I fell down the rabbit hole of research as I was off work at the time due quitting my job from exhaustion. I decided to seek a private diagnosis (no NHS ones for adults in my area), as I felt if I was going to get back into work, I had to find out why it had gone wrong for me before, and I was a bit scared it would happen again.  It explained so much, and that I'm not alone with it.

I had always known I was different, I just never knew why. It was by compete chance that one day a radio program interviewed two autistic adults, I think it was part of autism awareness month. 
They spoke about how autism affects their lives on a daily basis and different experiences.

I was 54 and knew nothing about autism, it finally all made sense. I just sat for the rest of the day, I still couldn’t quite believe it, there are actually other people like me, the in-depth research then started. I waited 3 years for an assessment, my diagnosis was a year ago next month, I feel the diagnosis was just the start of a further journey. The euphoria was short lived, the guilt, grief and anger are still very present. Some days just finally knowing why is enough to bring some happiness.

Thank you so much for the responses so far.

Just to be clear that they are for personal use only and won’t be recorded at all (well I’m not going to remember everything that you have said as there is so much detail) 
It’s really interesting to hear your Autism stories as they are all so different.

Thanks again.xx