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Conflicted about work

profdanger

So I am stuck in a weird situation. I currently work as an employment specialist, where I work with people with disabilities find and keep employment, and this job is working out pretty great for me. But I just found a job working with LGBTQ+ youth in my area that sounds just as, if not more, great. Both jobs have the same net pay, both have benefits, and both are in the same town. One big difference is the LGBTQ+ one is part-time, so less hours for the same net pay. However, I’ll still list the positives and negatives of both jobs:

DISABILITIES EMPLOYMENT SPECIALIST
Pros: Using my Autism as a resource, great coworkers, stable position, personal office, good/flexible hours, 
Cons: Sometimes I deal with intense behaviors (ex. shouting, punching, etc), pressure is high to find jobs in a timely manner, lots of traveling in my car, sometimes I take work home with me (some clients like to call/text me after working hours)

LGBTQ+ CLIENT SPECIALIST
Pros: Something I’ve dreamed of doing for a while now, three day weekends, possibility of picking up another part-time job, less traveling, likely less calls after work
Cons: Might be evenings (which could interfere with raising my kids), unknown about coworkers/office/stability, possibly need to plan events/activities, leaving my current job will leave a LOT of chaos for my current coworkers

So according to me? It’s a tie. I still need to get an official interview for the LGBTQ+ job, so maybe that would answer some of my concerns about stability and such, but right now I’m really torn. My wife is leaning towards employment specialist because we know it works and she is worried about me being absent four nights of the week. Do you have any advice or insight I could use?

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  • profdanger said:
    Cons: Sometimes I deal with intense behaviors (ex. shouting, punching, etc),

    I found that having a zero tolerance policy to this helps - when it starts then cut them off and walk away. Don't hold a grudge over it but make it clear you will not be swayed by bad behaviour.

    Any workplace will support your safety and wellbeing over this.

    profdanger said:
    LGBTQ+ CLIENT SPECIALIST

    You may find that the groups you are not a part of may have some people who will have trouble giving you credibility, saying the likes of "you can't understand if you haven't lived our experience" - consider how you will respond to this and gain their confidence.

    Looking at the pros and cons overall, I think you have a lot to gain by telling your existing employer that you have the offer, point out the elements that swayed your decision and what I would do in your shoes is ask if they can come close to matching to see if they will ask me to stay.

    The new job sounds like it has a lot of potential to eat into your time more than the core hours and could build tensions at home where you are leaving your partner alone in the evenings so much. This is just my perspective - it is a new group you may have issues bonding with with stresses of more travel, additional pressures of planning events and the guilt of leaving a job where you are an important part of the teams success.

    Sometimes the grass is not really greener on the other side of the fence, it is just fresh paint.

    Good luck with whatever decision you reach in the end.

  • in reply to Iain

    Wow, there’s a lot to unpack here lol

    Iain said:
    I found that having a zero tolerance policy to this helps - when it starts then cut them off and walk away. Don't hold a grudge over it but make it clear you will not be swayed by bad behaviour.

    Sometimes the behaviors aren’t really their fault (ex. dementia). For some of our consumers what you advise is what we are supposed to do, but others need a little more tlc in order to stabilize.

    Iain said:
    Any workplace will support your safety and wellbeing over this.

    As for my safety, I’m well-trained to deal with the behaviors by the company, so they’re not just throwing me into these tough situations without any help. I also have a great team I trust to back me up if I’m ever stuck in a situation.

    Iain said:
    You may find that the groups you are not a part of may have some people who will have trouble giving you credibility, saying the likes of "you can't understand if you haven't lived our experience" - consider how you will respond to this and gain their confidence.

    Excellent point, and I have considered this. I do have experience working with LGBTQ+, including a trans man that went to a highly conservative school and I currently have a young homosexual man I work with. So I’m not completely in the dark about their struggles and experiences. But yeah, I present heterosexual, so I can imagine there will be some that will say I don’t belong there. I’m ready for that.

    Iain said:
    I think you have a lot to gain by telling your existing employer that you have the offer

    I haven’t gotten an offer yet, just to be a little more clear. But yeah, I’m still debating whether to tell my boss. I’ve already talked with my HR and she’s pretty supportive of whichever decision I make. I would be surprised if my current job made an offer to keep me on, though.

    Iain said:
    could build tensions at home where you are leaving your partner alone in the evenings so much

    Yeah, that’s the core reason why I’ll probably stay with my current job. She’s also a little disappointed that I’m going for a job with a net pay similar to my current pay, instead of one that pays more. I get that.

    I appreciate your perspective, Iain!

Reply
  • in reply to Iain

    Wow, there’s a lot to unpack here lol

    Iain said:
    I found that having a zero tolerance policy to this helps - when it starts then cut them off and walk away. Don't hold a grudge over it but make it clear you will not be swayed by bad behaviour.

    Sometimes the behaviors aren’t really their fault (ex. dementia). For some of our consumers what you advise is what we are supposed to do, but others need a little more tlc in order to stabilize.

    Iain said:
    Any workplace will support your safety and wellbeing over this.

    As for my safety, I’m well-trained to deal with the behaviors by the company, so they’re not just throwing me into these tough situations without any help. I also have a great team I trust to back me up if I’m ever stuck in a situation.

    Iain said:
    You may find that the groups you are not a part of may have some people who will have trouble giving you credibility, saying the likes of "you can't understand if you haven't lived our experience" - consider how you will respond to this and gain their confidence.

    Excellent point, and I have considered this. I do have experience working with LGBTQ+, including a trans man that went to a highly conservative school and I currently have a young homosexual man I work with. So I’m not completely in the dark about their struggles and experiences. But yeah, I present heterosexual, so I can imagine there will be some that will say I don’t belong there. I’m ready for that.

    Iain said:
    I think you have a lot to gain by telling your existing employer that you have the offer

    I haven’t gotten an offer yet, just to be a little more clear. But yeah, I’m still debating whether to tell my boss. I’ve already talked with my HR and she’s pretty supportive of whichever decision I make. I would be surprised if my current job made an offer to keep me on, though.

    Iain said:
    could build tensions at home where you are leaving your partner alone in the evenings so much

    Yeah, that’s the core reason why I’ll probably stay with my current job. She’s also a little disappointed that I’m going for a job with a net pay similar to my current pay, instead of one that pays more. I get that.

    I appreciate your perspective, Iain!

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