I am undiagnosed, older, new to ALL of this, and really struggling to cope. It is now the Easter break (I teach) and again I have had a kind of meltdown about planning the break with my partner. I'm new to all of this but i is my understanding that ADHD and Autism make plans very differently . My partner writes things on the calendar, but I know that they can and do change very frequently (her work is random at can change when shes in or out very last minute) I'm massively struggling to cope with a feeling of not being able to set any events for us as a family, but whenever i approach her about doing this her ADHD seems to react with very strong resistance , wanting to keep it all fluid and 'open' and subject to change. I'm left being made to feel that I'm being overly controlling, when all I am doing is begging for some kind of clarity or fixity in our plans. I am told that I need to loosen up, that I'm probably autistic (which you would think would mitigate the accusatory tone?) and I am so confused and depressed by living like this with no way to fix dates with my partner. Anyone else experience this feeling of powerlessness when people constantly change dates around and make out that 'it's just life' ???
