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Kids can be cruel

Cloudbaby1975

Hello folks. Just wanted to share with you all.  My daughter who is waiting for an autism diagnosis has struggled with bullying through secondary school and now it’s happening at college too. She speaks without thinking how her audience might take what she has said and then boom she gets ostracised. It’s so tiring. I am also waiting for a diagnosis and it pretty much mirrors my experience of school years and onwards! The good news is she has some lovely friends who accept her for who she is and me to guide her. I spent a life time thinking that I needed to keep my mouth shut or suffer this kind of nonsense. These days I’ve stopped masking as it’s too exhausting and I feel so much happier. I’m hoping I can encourage her to do the same. Also as a therapist I have been reflecting that teaching autistic people social skills can feel a little insulting and misses the point really. Maybe neurotypical people need this training? What do you think? 

Parents

  • Yes, absolutely.  I always compare this speaking a foreign language.  If a Chinese person and a Danish person wish to communicate, whose responsibility is it to do the work and try to learn how the other speaks and expresses cultural norms?  I would hope the answer is: both.  Ideally, both will accommodate the other without sacrificing their own culture and identity.

    There is no harm, and in fact it's a good thing, for us to develop an understanding of neurotypical communication styles, but "social skills training" i.e. teaching us to mask is not.  That only a) exhausts us and b) absolves them of the work they need to put in to meet us half way.  So absolutely!!!  Neurotypicals also need to 'training' 

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  • Yes, absolutely.  I always compare this speaking a foreign language.  If a Chinese person and a Danish person wish to communicate, whose responsibility is it to do the work and try to learn how the other speaks and expresses cultural norms?  I would hope the answer is: both.  Ideally, both will accommodate the other without sacrificing their own culture and identity.

    There is no harm, and in fact it's a good thing, for us to develop an understanding of neurotypical communication styles, but "social skills training" i.e. teaching us to mask is not.  That only a) exhausts us and b) absolves them of the work they need to put in to meet us half way.  So absolutely!!!  Neurotypicals also need to 'training' 

Children
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