Newly diagnosed female 50+

You will spend ages, months, maybe a year or more, thinking about it.

I think, eventually, it is about not worrying about people pleasing, not worrying about fitting it, not worrying about looking like how you think you should look, not believing the advertising, lifestyle magazines, films, soaps and books, ignoring the social media (which gives a false impression of life), and trying to do what makes you feel comfortable.

I think that's it. 

Do what makes your nervous system feels calm. Since you can't be calm all the time, find ways to mitigate and cope with the bits that cause pressure and stress.

With a calm nervous system your thinking expands, you stop just surviving, you can then live when you stop putting yourself in a box.

I think it is 75% mental shift and 25% modification to what you do and how you do things. The 25% varies by person.

To get to the calm bit, you will reframe your past seeing it in a new light. Depending on what you have been through, this can be good, bad or horrible. But you will get through it. It necessary, seek counselling if you struggle and can afford it.

This process is destabilising because it is a wrench to your identity. If you are highly systematizing it rips up all the rules. It takes a while to put them all back in place again and work out what the model is again. You lose certainty for a while which is why people feel lost.

It will come back.

You can update yourself cognitively faster than emotionally. The emotions are slow and do their own thing. You can't force them, nor can you think your way out of it. This was my mistake. I tried to out think how I felt. Because I always have overridden how I felt. But that was what caused the burnouts and the struggles.

You become calm by doing calming things, not thinking about being calm harder.

It may be a bumpy road of ups and downs but you will come out of it stronger.

You will spend ages, months, maybe a year or more, thinking about it.

I think, eventually, it is about not worrying about people pleasing, not worrying about fitting it, not worrying about looking like how you think you should look, not believing the advertising, lifestyle magazines, films, soaps and books, ignoring the social media (which gives a false impression of life), and trying to do what makes you feel comfortable.

I think that's it. 

Do what makes your nervous system feels calm. Since you can't be calm all the time, find ways to mitigate and cope with the bits that cause pressure and stress.

With a calm nervous system your thinking expands, you stop just surviving, you can then live when you stop putting yourself in a box.

I think it is 75% mental shift and 25% modification to what you do and how you do things. The 25% varies by person.

To get to the calm bit, you will reframe your past seeing it in a new light. Depending on what you have been through, this can be good, bad or horrible. But you will get through it. It necessary, seek counselling if you struggle and can afford it.

This process is destabilising because it is a wrench to your identity. If you are highly systematizing it rips up all the rules. It takes a while to put them all back in place again and work out what the model is again. You lose certainty for a while which is why people feel lost.

It will come back.

You can update yourself cognitively faster than emotionally. The emotions are slow and do their own thing. You can't force them, nor can you think your way out of it. This was my mistake. I tried to out think how I felt. Because I always have overridden how I felt. But that was what caused the burnouts and the struggles.

You become calm by doing calming things, not thinking about being calm harder.

It may be a bumpy road of ups and downs but you will come out of it stronger.