Hi everyone,
I’m posting because I’m still feeling quite shaken and could really do with hearing from parents who’ve been there.
My son is nearly 6 and is autistic. He is, by nature, a very gentle, kind, loving little boy. When he’s regulated he is affectionate, empathetic, thoughtful, and always wants to do the right thing. He’s very close to his younger brother, loves cuddles, and is genuinely a soft, caring child.
Last night, completely out of nowhere (it felt like), he became very dysregulated. We do have a lot going on at the moment — we’re in the middle of moving house — but this level of intensity was new for us.
During the meltdown he said some really shocking things, including saying he wanted to get a “weapon” from the utensil drawer and kill me. Writing that makes my stomach drop — hearing it from your own child is absolutely terrifying.
In terms of the words he used, he loves watching Minecraft videos and understands that in the game you can remove a “baddie” or make them disappear, but he used the word kill. He also watches age-appropriate cartoons with fighting, swords, etc., like most children his age.
What’s confusing and upsetting is what happened afterwards. Once he calmed down, he was immediately remorseful. He kept saying sorry, reflecting on what had happened, saying “it wasn’t me”, and then he started trying to comfort me, trying to make things better. That side of him is so typical of who he is. And I’m wondering if those words just came out in overwhelm rather than meaning anything literally — but as a parent it’s hard not to spiral and think “what if?”
This felt so out of character and has left me questioning everything.
I guess I’m asking:
• Has anyone else experienced extreme language like this during autistic meltdowns?
• Did it pass?
• Is this something that’s common when children are dysregulated.
• And who is the best person to talk to about this — GP, SENCO, paediatrician, CAMHS, autism support lines?
I love my son fiercely and know who he is at his core, but last night really knocked me. I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to ignore something important.
If anyone has been through similar or can point me in the right direction, I’d be incredibly grateful.
Thank you for reading 
