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Books for those of no fixed religion but want 'life guidance'

Marianne72

I tried and failed to find the thread asking people's favourite philosopher, hence this new post. I'm near the end of my journey [on earth] and seeking decent books on spirituality not allied to a particular faith. I wanted to share books I've found useful for day-to-day living, with all its difficulties and stressors.

I've joined a lot of different 'styles' over the years - Christianity, Quakerism, Vedanta, Black Baptist.. They each have merits, not least social opportunities, inclusion and support. But I lost belief in a God, and sliding toward being humanist and a Stoic. I want to live a moral life but not chained to a formal faith.

For the last 7 years I've followed the books by modern philosopher, Ryan Holiday, who follows Stoicism - The Daily Stoic. I've found daily Journal writing really helpful, particularly when recovering trauma or my tendency to ruminate on past hurts and abuses.

I am also fond of modern philosopher Alain de Botton. The one I'm reading now is, 'Religion for Atheists' - by turn amusing, amazing and thought-provoking. He puts forward an interesting idea that ditching formal religion as a whole is like throwing out the baby with the bathwater; that  precepts of major religions have a lot to teach about how to live. So, why not use these to form a religion for atheists [those who do not formally believe in a God but want 'morals' to live by]. With the loss of church power and nothing to take its place, Botton makes interesting reading.

Parents

  • This is a subject I find so interesting too - and I think Alain de Botton’s comments about ‘throwing the baby out with the bath water’ hit the nail on the head. As modern western societies have moved away from religious practices they have struggled to find meaning and a strong ethical foundation to live by. 
    I wasn’t religious for most of my life - the family I grew up in had no religious leanings at all. Then about 5 years ago I had a life threatening illness and I realised that I had nothing to ‘call on’ religiously or philosophically that could help me when facing life’s most profound challenges - in particular our mortality and separation from everything we love and hold dear. So when I recovered (which I was very very fortunate to do) I felt I needed to investigate what was lacking in my thinking etc that made me so completely ill equipped to face my own mortality, and impermance and suffering etc etc etc. So in the last few years I’m been on that journey of investigating religion, philosophy and so many things to try and find acceptance and peace, and ways to approach life in a way that brought me more happiness and peace.

    By far the most positive and helpful philosophy I have found has been Buddhist philosophy and practices - specifically the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh. Buddhism - and specifically THich Nhat Hanh’s teachings - are very inclusive of other religions, and people and cultures of no religion. There no discrimination in these teachings, and you don’t have to ‘believe’ in any God or deity etc. The focus is on ethics, kindness and compassion, non discrimination, mindful consumption (the philosophy is particularly relevant to concerns about the environment and protecting the planet and nature), cultivating joy and happiness. I could go on for hours (!) about how wonderful these teachings are to be honest. They are also incredibly accessible in ways that some schools of Buddhism sometimes aren’t. Thich Nhat Hanh’s wish was to make ancient Buddhist teachings accessible to modern and western audiences - so they could have global benefit to mankind and to the earth. 

    If anyone wants to learn more then google: Thich Nhat Hanh, and also ‘Plum Village’ which is the monastic community Thich Nhat Hanh founded in the south of France - but which now has monasteries in various parts of the world. They also have a wonderful Youtube channel (called Plum Village) and a wonderful podcast called ‘The Way out is In’. 

    I have to say it’s been life changing for me to encounter this particular school of Buddhism and it’s brought me a lot of happiness and peace in my life. It also helps me to deal with a lot of the everyday challenges we all face - it’s just so useful in my day to day life to be able to have this more balanced and philosophical approach to every part of my life. I really wish it could be taught in schools (not as religion but as philosophy and ethics) as I think we’d have a much happier and healthier society if that were the case, 

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel
    Kate Kestrel said:
    teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh

    I went to a lecture by Thitch Naht Hanh decades ago and bought his 'Mindfulness' book, which I've found very helpful over the years. I'm glad you found peace after your terrible experience Butterfly. Yes, philosophy of some kind needs to be taught in schools, also practical life skills. I had no idea how to budget, cook or run a home when I left school, nor how to make friendships. It took me decades to learn these skills from scratch [my parents were hopeless - just constant arguments].

  • in reply to Marianne72

    Hi Marianne - how wonderful - I would love to have seen TNH in person during his lifetime - you were very fortunate to do that! My parents also argued a lot - it was not a peaceful or harmonious environment to grow up in. It’s never too late to improve one’s life though is it? I realise now that my parents didn’t have the capacity to be more warm and loving - and that’s very sad. However I learned a lot from their mistakes. Re. School - I agree - we could be teaching children truly useful life skills and ways to be good people and to be kind and happy - it’s such a wasted opportunity to not do more of this kind of teaching in schools. Maybe in the future it will happen - I really hope so. 

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thitch Nath Hank was lovely and full of laughter. He had a female monk with him who smiled at me - I never forgot because her smile was so deep and sincere.

    Kate Kestrel said:
    my parents didn’t have the capacity to be more warm and loving - and that’s very sad. However I learned a lot from their mistakes.

    Just like mine! Yes, I too learned how not to live because of them [making very bad relationships on the way]. Current curriculums are far too focussed on knowledge that is not applicable to daily life. That's why I agree with de Botton's life views.

Reply
  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thitch Nath Hank was lovely and full of laughter. He had a female monk with him who smiled at me - I never forgot because her smile was so deep and sincere.

    Kate Kestrel said:
    my parents didn’t have the capacity to be more warm and loving - and that’s very sad. However I learned a lot from their mistakes.

    Just like mine! Yes, I too learned how not to live because of them [making very bad relationships on the way]. Current curriculums are far too focussed on knowledge that is not applicable to daily life. That's why I agree with de Botton's life views.

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