I have known my best mate for three years now and we work for the same company but on different floors. Our friendship was running smoothly up until May 2024 when things started to change. We were both going through difficult times in our lives and so I suggested that we went to the local spa for some bestie time. I had dropped it in conversation via social media, a number of times, she seemed keen and excited. She even suggested at one point that we go to a different spa other than the original one that I suggested. So when the time came to book our spa day, her behaviour started to change and she didn't seem to respond to me like she usually does. I was getting really anxious and worried at this point.
When she finally got back to me, four days later, she said, that the spa wasn't her priority for now. There was no inkling that she didn't want to go otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it if I had any seen any signs. I couldn't understand why didn't she tell me straight away, I didn't know what was going on, my mental health and stress levels went downhill. She messaged me on my birthday and I took that opportunity to explain how her behaviour was affecting me, she didn't reply but when we were back at work the following day, I said that our fallout was killing me and that I hated every second, so we made up briefly so I thought that we were ok but when I mentioned the spa to her, she changed the subject again I couldn't work out as to why.
I didn't speak to her for two months, I wrote to her accusing of hiding something from me and of course, due to this she didn't speak to me for four months after I had written a note to her and put it in a Xmas card explaining to her why I had made such accusations, she was fine with me as we spoke briefly, but I could sense that something still wasn't right.
After Xmas and New Year had passed, I spoke to her to get her to say sorry to me after all the stress she had caused me during 2024 but she refused to apologize to me as she said that she was confused as she hadn't done anything wrong and we then didn't speak from 4th Jan - 20th Nov 2025. We are just about back on good terms again and I can't wait for me and her to back together officially after what has been a very difficult eighteen months or so.
It was from having done a psychology diploma and spoken to a number of people that made me realise that she was somewhere on the spectrum. Bearing in mind that I did have some knowledge of autism but I did turn a blind eye to it not because I'm against it but because I thought that it would change our relationship but it won't, I know that for sure.
She clearly doesn't know as our fallout would have gone a different route if she did know. If she found out then I think she would be upset about it but she would soon realise that "Autism is Beautiful" hence my username.
What I want to know is if anybody is aware of autism causing fallouts amongst others if it isn't recognized in people's behaviour as I bet it does happen?
Does that make sense? xx
