Just been diagnosed and feeling sad - what support can I get?

Hello.

Don't feel bad about being upset. Don't feel guilty. It is part of it.

Be prepared for all the feeling like a fraud stuff too. Feeling you conned the psychologists is common. You didn't.

Being dysregulated makes everything seem worse. If you are not sleeping it hugely multiplies it.

Your preconceived ideas about autism strongly affect your initial reactions. If you have spent decades trying so hard to be normal and fit in, finding out that no matter what you did you were still different can be quite overwhelming and demoralising.

What they don't tell you is reframing your past is not just a question on thinking about it, it is the reactivation of all the memories and, depending your memory, reliving them again. Which for all the bad bits is very hard. You also can get sucked into self blame with a lot of 'if only I had done x' type thinking, which is not helpful but you can't stop. It is part of understanding and creating a narrative. But you can't do what you didn't know or understand. Don't be too hard on yourself, you will be anyway though for a while.

If you are burnt out, chronically overloaded or over functioning, it will be even harder.

I had overwhelming loss, dysfunctional thinking, etc. I have cried every day for about a year thinking about all the things that could have been. It took me months to find out it was grief. But it is almost done now. I have reconstructed myself.

I have analysed myself in enormous detail, derived most traits, masking, and a lot of info in papers from first principles and my memories because I didn't know what I was looking for. But my level of self observation and memory is very unusual.

I am only saying this because you will get through it. I did not believe and started to really doubt it, but it is possible. You can emerge a stronger, truer, better person. But it is very uncomfortable, hard, destabilising, and difficult. You will also not believe me done times . Be aware of different thinking modes.

Also be prepared that it may well get worse before it gets better. It takes courage to face yourself and not hide. The more honest you are the more it hurts but the more stable the end product. Don't be worried if you need help. And stop if it starts getting too much and have a break for a week or two. You can't rush it. You nervous system goes at its own pace, you can't outthink it.

Be prepared for your thoughts to oscillate and have good and bad days. Don't make important decisions for a while.

Write things down so you can get them out. You will change your mind and loop. It is part of processing.

You made it this far and coped. That is not easy. Be kind to yourself. You did the best you could and it was enough.

Good luck.

Aww thank you so much Stuart!! This has helped so much you cant believe. I'm definitely taking my time with it but i guess I have to anticipate ebbs and flows

Aww thank you so much Stuart!! This has helped so much you cant believe. I'm definitely taking my time with it but i guess I have to anticipate ebbs and flows