sorry, i don't know if this is the right place on the forum but i will just come right out with it:
(i don't expect this one to be posted because of the general content, but i will try to be as *unoffensive* as i can, in the hopes this will be posted because this is very difficult for me)
I am the one with ASD: My wife is *normal*
Before we had children, we were very loving and very sexual with each other, after our first child it *kind of* stopped (let me explain)
I have always seen sex, *making love* F***ing (call it what you will) as the deepest act of love and companionship there is.
Me and my wife have now hit a rut (as we most often do) in this department. we have not done anything at bed time now for at least 6 weeks (4 weeks were due to her *women troubles*) the other two has been *im too tired... im not in the mood* etc (i also think we havent done anything for a previous few weeks prior to her women stuff), i am now feeling deeply horny (sorry), and aggrivated because im not getting the companionship i *need*.
Tonight she has said to me (promised) that we could have a bath, go to bed, and be *close*... The bath went well... we went to bed, i stayed up for 10 minutes writing a very important report due to *professional* involvment which i do not want to discuss here (although it involves the children and is also stressing her out), i then put the pen down, turned out the lights, rolled towards to her to *instigate* it, and she completlyy brushed me off *im too tired* etc.
What i am trying to ask, is how do i approche the matter as a *normal person* should, without upsetting her, or myself?
The thing is, as i have said, i need the physical love making, sex play; because it makes me feel loved and also chills me out.
I have and never will force it upon her (although i have been close a few times and this has always upset me). I can garuntee i will now be awake for the rest of the night (because that is how my body works)...
The reason i am so sexual is because my previous *successful* relastionships always have been (instigated from THEIR side) and so it it what i have always been used too... we have had this conversation with each other quite a few times in the past, and she says she completly understands (even though it is apparent she does not)
I also feel like shes using me as just a *baby machine* because, after our son was born, we didnt *do it* for quite some time... and then she says to me *let's have another one, i don't want him being an only child like i was*... i leaped at the chance, because it gave me that companionship that i needed, and once again, since our daughters brith 18 months agao, it has been very *dead*
Sorry for circulating, im just very confused and stressed out, we have been together now for 5 years (married for 3) and i just don't know what i should do about the situation, has anyone else with ASD experienced this, or knows what i am going through?
Again i hope this will be posted, and if it is needed, would the moderators please ammend this mail as they require, as i really would like an answer to this... Sorry for being unappropriate if i have been
