New year

Thank you and same to you as well xx

That's a very intense year, it's great you eventually got your asd diagnosis but so sorry with your other liver diagnosis, I hope you can find a donar when the time comes. Serious illness on top of everything else is tough.

Wishing you all the best for 2026. x

2025 was a weird year for me to be honest:

Feb - being told I wasn't autistic - which caused me to have a full blown crisis meltdown to the point where I literally dumped all my medication in my doctors surgery and then paying for it afterwards.

May - actually being correctly diagnosed for autism - after the first person had said I wasn't - thank you V for that.
Learning more about myself and my quirks and my parents have been a major help with helping me understand more.

Oct - being diagnosed with PFIC (Progressive Familial Intrahepatic Cholestasis) - basically my liver ducts are screwed thanks to my biological parents (was adopted at 18 months old), something which basically means my parents were both just carriers and had a single gene - but I got hit with both - kind of scary when you research it, but PFIC type 3 basically sums up how I am. This diagnosis has hit me and (most) of my family much harder than the Autism has. I did get to see my brother in Montreal, and saw my niece (6) and nephews (10 and almost 3). I hadn't actually officially met my youngest nephew so it was lovely to see him and my brother's new fiancée who was also lovely as well. It was a lovely holiday actually and it was nice to see everyone.  

Nov - finding out my Godmother passed away - her funeral is on Monday coming up .

Dec - Mum was very unwell on Christmas Day, but she was at least able to open presents etc. but we had Christmas Dinner (which she loves cooking) on the Sunday instead (which was lovely). She's now on antibiotics though as she's now got a chest infection - but hopefully that'll clear up soon.

So...as you can see - a very mixed up year with both positive and negative things.

We shall just have to see how 2026 goes - Best wishes to everyone for 2026.

Mweekie xx

Bananatropics26 said:

had a good new year ?

Yes, excellent. Enjoying lying in my bed with my laptop and new books, reading about travel chaos and snow and how fitness and supplements are often an expensive waste of time. Being a couch potato is no bad thing, after all .

Oh okay I see. I wonder if all of us autistic people just have meltdowns sometimes? I think I had a meltdown last night. It must have been that I think. Maybe you had the same thing as me then a meltdown. Is it an anxiety thing why you didn't want to go to the shops? Id probably be the same in your shoes to be fair. Aw shame you cried too. What are we like? Haha

End of the day it ain't my fault I have autism and it ain't my fault my parents didn't want me. I was an accident apparently 

U had a good new year ?

Yeh your right though. I am a bit demanding I suppose. I don't intend to be though. It's frustration that's all it is. Yeh I can be needy dunno I really need therapy I think. Dunno. For one thing I have stopped looking for an answer because maybe there isn't one. Or maybe the answer will appear at the right time who knows. I ain't saying I have a poor life but I ain't always happy either. Also helping people is cool. But the one who is needy may need something maybe they don't know what they need. But yeh they need something or else they wouldn't be needy in first place. Makes total sense to me. If your in a bad place yourself u might not be in a position to help others. So I would disagree with you in that respect. You can be nasty to someone but still be a nice person. It's all interpretation. If someone is nasty and your nasty to them back you become as nasty as them. I'm a nice person my family would tell you I'm not but that's not true. I am very kind. I know that so I don't care what anyone else thinks I am.

I have a wife and family to support me and still the world seems too big and loud at times. They went grocery shopping to grab a few things on Christmas eve, I just sat at home and sobbed.

It is a case of one day at a time.

I'm not even vaguely religious but I often have the serenity prayer running around my head, it's often used by alcoholics anonymous and I understand why.

Bananatropics26 said:

But sitting in the house alone as I live alone doesn't help because I end up ruminating over everything.

That is EXACTLY what you're doing! When you join something this year (when things start to come back to life) don't focus on finding friends but on learning more about whatever-it-is. It took me ages to learn that when you appear needy, people are put off - even frightened. This is also the case with family. Focus on the topic not the people; share your learning and also ask for advice or information - people will like you for both things. Everyone nice likes to feel they are being helpful. Everyone nasty likes to find fault or ridicule. The nasty ones home in on those who appear isolated or depressed, so be careful to avoid them until you feel stronger. 

You have happy new year too!! I like to smoke tobacco cigarettes they calm me down and give me my dopamine fix. I know I could get sick but hey I don't enjoy anything else and also. Whether u choose to smoke or not we are all gonna meet our maker at some point I guess. It's not like non smokers are going to live forever or something 

Thanks I knew new year would be hard tho. Especially because everything shuts too over this period. So there is minimal group activities at this time of year. This is why I hate winter haha. Big fan of summer  here. Yeh your right I don't know how people feel in they're heads about me. I'm trying to stay positive all the time but some times the darkness does win! When the negative thoughts start it can be hard to shut them up. But sitting in the house alone as I live alone doesn't help because I end up ruminating over everything. 

Bananatropics26 said:

Suppose there are others like me who spend Christmas and new year alone

I looked up AI and they reckon 1.8 million. It took me years to enjoy being alone - when I got to the conclusion that I enjoyed my own company and that others triggered stress in me. 

Bananatropics26 said:

My family don't talk to me. They don't love me.

My family were like that - turned out both father and brother were autistic too. I 'divorced' them years ago - you CAN divorce family but better give them a chance first, perhaps by sending a letter of how you feel. 

Bananatropics26 said:

I feel like the world hates me to

You don't know how the whole world feels! Look how many friends you have here! Start by developing your lifestyle: join clubs with like-minded hobbies and interests. Perhaps go to your doctor and see if there is counselling available, or get online counselling [but first lookup reviews from pukka organisations]. Joining clubs will help you feel less lonely and reorient your mind toward positivity. Good luck and a happier new year!

My year already off to a bad start haha. Ended up going insane up for 3 days no food no sleep. I feel like no one cares about me sometimes. My family don't talk to me. They don't love me. I think it's because of the autism that I have. Oh well. I am a 25 grown man I must be my own father from now on. Ended up crying in my apartment staircase. So lonely. I feel like the world hates me too. I don't know. Is there a way to get through these hard times? I am not sure. I do not know what the future holds at all. I cannot say that my future or your future will be good or bad because we do not know unless we have a time machine. Suppose there are others like me who spend Christmas and new year alone

Happy New Year to all.

That sounds like a lot to have dealt with in one year Stuart - I hope that 2026 is a little easier for you. 

Thank you - I had my husband and youngest son with me tonight - which makes a world of difference. I don’t really have any close friends apart from my family - who are also friends in my eyes. You’re right - just having someone near you who cares helps so much.

Cinnabar_wing said:

I'm hoping to move forward in 2026 with more acceptance all round.

Wishing you the very best for the New Year with lots of peace and further understandings. 

I had my therapy, I still have 2 sessions and I don't know what will be next. I had some periods of higher stress, exhaustion, conflict but I also bought a new laptop and started being creative again. This year wasn't exceptionally good or bad, it just was another year. The time passes so fast,it's hard to believe that the 2026 is coming soon (after 2 hours from now for me). 

I wish everyone a good 2026 year!

2025's been a tough year of discovering limits, starting in depression, accelerating into working so hard I got insomnia and complete burnout, having to leave my job, discovering I was autistic while researching it for my son, him and me getting diagnosed, my other kid hitting her own wall and seeing she's probably autistic too and trying to figure out what that means. 

I'm hoping to move forward in 2026 with more acceptance all round.

I hope 2026 is good to you all!