I find Xmas hard with the expected socialising and the expectations but have found a way that works. My parents come to me Xmas Eve and leave the day after Boxing Day. It’s hard having them for 3 nights and the run up getting everything ready but it’s better than me going out as it could be busy, I also don’t feel comfortable at my parents. My home is like a safe place.
I know my parents miss out as I don’t have lots of family coming so they don’t get to play games and have the party vibe. My dad isn’t that fussed but I know my mum is. This year a very close friend of one who I thought was close spoke about coming round, I said that was fine and invited another mutual friend. My parents know the other friend but not this close fined really, they have spoken but not like they have with my other friend.
My close friend spoke about the day in the run up, knew what I was buying and even agreed to make a food item, I said it was not needed but she wanted to. In the run up to Xmas I did lots of little things to help this friend out, she didn’t ask for everything I did but did somethings.
i was starting to stress in the run up and she knew as I was not waking up in time and starting to shut down a bit. I purchased more food, extra booze as she is a big drinker and tried to make it perfect for everyone.
a time was agreed and my other friend had asked if I would pick her up which I agreed. This might be where I went wrong but about 2 hours before the agreed time I texted my close friend asking if she wanted a lift too and she didn’t reply. As I set off to pick my other friend up I called her and it just rang. I then noticed the text had been read. She said she would be up in 30mins and said the time. This was 30 Mins after we agreed but not end of the world. She even said who was giving her a lift. 2 hours later she had not come, I called her and it rang out. I messages to say people were hungry and I needed to do the food and asked if she was still coming. No reply. She never came and it ruined the day because I was upset trying to hide I was upset, my parents and other friend were asking question and the day ended quite quick as it was obvious I wasn’t right.
i get people change their mind which I do think is wrong but still I know it happens but what I’m finding hard to deal with is she never texted to say not coming and days later I’ve heard nothing from her. I know she has been out doing the things she had planned the other days so nothing bad has happened to her. I just feel so upset, all the food wasted and time and effort put into it. I have not got out of bed since and am really upset wanting to know what I did wrong.
just to clarify why I’m confused there was no fall out, messages day before we’re all good and even at the time she was due she said she was coming. I will apologise if I know what I’ve done wrong but my other friend said I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m so upset. I know I’m seen as weird because of my autism but I thought this friend was a good friend and wish I knew what I had done wrong
Any advise appreciated
