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Daughter gets very stressed over choosing what to do

jrandall10

Hello 

Our daughter is six, she has mild asd but her spd is more servers. Most evenings after dinner and in the day if we are home she really struggles with what to do. Visuals don't work with her and it makes her very stressed. We are trying our hardest to go with her flow and let her choose but sometimes this leads to stress. If we suggest anything it makes her more upset. We have changed lots of things to help her but we are at a loss when it comes to this. Has any one got any tips or ideas xxx

Parents

  • Morning,

    Choice is a difficult one, its often focuses anxiety. I experience this extremely strongly when it comes to unstructured time. Having all the choices of what i could do, makes it hard to pin down what I "should" do.

    The approach i have taken is to have a grid of cards blu tacked onto the back of my bedroom door. Every time i think of something i would like to do in the future (like, play a certain video game, make a certain thing with lego, or research a certain topic) i write it on a card and stick it on the door.

    When i am feeling anxious, rather than make a "decision" about what to do, i pick from the first column of the grid.

    The reason this method works for me is because:

    1: I seperate the "what" from the when. I don't feel under pressure or overwhelmed with "coulds"

    2: I get it out of my head, so i can point at tasks and dicuss them with my partner. I can also write notes so i dont forget things

    3: Sub selection, I select from only the smallest group of many. I put stuff into this group at a seperate time. This means i make a big decision (what to pick), based on lots of little decisions (which tasks get into the first column).

    Perhaps something in the method would be transferable and useful for you.

    Cheers,

    Jamie + Lion

Reply

  • Morning,

    Choice is a difficult one, its often focuses anxiety. I experience this extremely strongly when it comes to unstructured time. Having all the choices of what i could do, makes it hard to pin down what I "should" do.

    The approach i have taken is to have a grid of cards blu tacked onto the back of my bedroom door. Every time i think of something i would like to do in the future (like, play a certain video game, make a certain thing with lego, or research a certain topic) i write it on a card and stick it on the door.

    When i am feeling anxious, rather than make a "decision" about what to do, i pick from the first column of the grid.

    The reason this method works for me is because:

    1: I seperate the "what" from the when. I don't feel under pressure or overwhelmed with "coulds"

    2: I get it out of my head, so i can point at tasks and dicuss them with my partner. I can also write notes so i dont forget things

    3: Sub selection, I select from only the smallest group of many. I put stuff into this group at a seperate time. This means i make a big decision (what to pick), based on lots of little decisions (which tasks get into the first column).

    Perhaps something in the method would be transferable and useful for you.

    Cheers,

    Jamie + Lion

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