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Using a dating app - this mans story

Iain

This series of posts is part blog about my experience of a dating app with part dedicated to my autistic traits and also some advice.

Why and how to choose

After 2 and a half years since my divorce I decided it was enough time on my own and I was ready to get back on the dating scene for the first time in 27 years.
It seems to have changed a bit. 


Back when I was last dating there were no mobile phones of consequence, the internet didn't really exist in a usable form and there was a huge amount of luck involved in finding a partner.


From an autistic perspective there was a lot of comfort in my situation of living alone. I had my film library so never was stuck for something good to watch, I had literally thousands of books on subjects I love to read and all my home comforts were in easy reach. No need to socialise, all the sleep I wanted and a routine I had full control over, but I was still becoming lonely.


I took a practical approach - research which dating app platform has the widest use and has decent ratings, do some research on it and get going.


The largest number of users was on Tinder (I have no affiliation, I'm just a user of the service) so I signed up for this at a cost of around £6/month for the gold membership that lets you see who has "liked" you so it makes finding potential matches much easier.

NOTE the posts will be in reverse order so start from the oldest.

Parents

  • I have had one experience of online dating and it's when they first started so 20-25 years ago.

    I had a lot of responses and I got quite overwhelmed.

    I ended up meeting someone but although we had hit it off online we really didn't in person and also, he didn't look like his photograph.

    I deleted my profile after that experience.

    In the end, I met my now husband through work around 19 years ago.

    Doing what you are isn't that easy for us autists and I admire you for making a go of it.

  • in reply to B

    I had very few responses when I did online dating, partly due to living somewhere nobody had ever heard of. I went on one site that used some kind of proto AI to find matches and asked lots of questions to enable it to find better matches, that didn't work either, it ended up giving me one match and I think that was more about geography than because it thought we'd get on. But this site was American and the questions it asked were very US based and they had to change them all fr UK users.

    Why do so many men post photo's of themselves with fish?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Living in the sticks (or on an island in your case) will leave you with a much, much smaller pool of potential matches unless you are able and willing to travel a long way and even then this depends on the other people being willing to consider dates distant to them.

    TheCatWoman said:
    Why do so many men post photo's of themselves with fish?

    I read that it represents industriousness (they can manage the equipment and strategies to catch the fish), the provider capacity (they can provide fresh food to eat) and athleticism (big fish are surprisingly hard to land as they put up a struggle more than their size suggests).

    I do have a picture of me holding my labrador puppy from 20 years ago but I suspect that is winning me admirers for the pup and not me - I look tired which was the results of running after a tornado of destruction called puppy all day.

    One advantage is I have not aged much since then - a few more wrinkles but the hairline stopped at the same point (I look like a monk if it grows). It is a lot more white now but that means I can grow a beard and look like Santa if I want Slight smile

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Living in the sticks (or on an island in your case) will leave you with a much, much smaller pool of potential matches unless you are able and willing to travel a long way and even then this depends on the other people being willing to consider dates distant to them.

    TheCatWoman said:
    Why do so many men post photo's of themselves with fish?

    I read that it represents industriousness (they can manage the equipment and strategies to catch the fish), the provider capacity (they can provide fresh food to eat) and athleticism (big fish are surprisingly hard to land as they put up a struggle more than their size suggests).

    I do have a picture of me holding my labrador puppy from 20 years ago but I suspect that is winning me admirers for the pup and not me - I look tired which was the results of running after a tornado of destruction called puppy all day.

    One advantage is I have not aged much since then - a few more wrinkles but the hairline stopped at the same point (I look like a monk if it grows). It is a lot more white now but that means I can grow a beard and look like Santa if I want Slight smile

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