Using a dating app - this mans story

This series of posts is part blog about my experience of a dating app with part dedicated to my autistic traits and also some advice.

Why and how to choose

After 2 and a half years since my divorce I decided it was enough time on my own and I was ready to get back on the dating scene for the first time in 27 years.
It seems to have changed a bit. 


Back when I was last dating there were no mobile phones of consequence, the internet didn't really exist in a usable form and there was a huge amount of luck involved in finding a partner.


From an autistic perspective there was a lot of comfort in my situation of living alone. I had my film library so never was stuck for something good to watch, I had literally thousands of books on subjects I love to read and all my home comforts were in easy reach. No need to socialise, all the sleep I wanted and a routine I had full control over, but I was still becoming lonely.


I took a practical approach - research which dating app platform has the widest use and has decent ratings, do some research on it and get going.


The largest number of users was on Tinder (I have no affiliation, I'm just a user of the service) so I signed up for this at a cost of around £6/month for the gold membership that lets you see who has "liked" you so it makes finding potential matches much easier.

NOTE the posts will be in reverse order so start from the oldest.

Parents
  • Where does this leave things?

    My dilemma is, do I keep talking to the two I really like and wait until I have met both and had another date or two or should I stick with the one I have already met.

    I have an issue with two-timing but as this is still an evaluation (or date I say comparison) stage, what is the ethical thing to do. It is possible to have 2 girlfriends but I don't like this idea - maybe I am old fashioned. 

    Since I have been dating I have also stopped chatting to the other matches I have and these are building up now (20+ even after excluding the ones I don't like much) and it starts to feel a bit pressured.

    What do you think I should do?

  • I would keep talking to the two you really like as think that’s a reasonable approach until you know more. Nothing is exclusive right now and if either says it is, then that’s a red flag IMO. you’re evaluating personality fit just now and gauging connection. I think you’ll quickly know which one you gravitate to more, that will be the signal to call it off with the other woman. 

Reply
  • I would keep talking to the two you really like as think that’s a reasonable approach until you know more. Nothing is exclusive right now and if either says it is, then that’s a red flag IMO. you’re evaluating personality fit just now and gauging connection. I think you’ll quickly know which one you gravitate to more, that will be the signal to call it off with the other woman. 

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