No enjoyment from socialising

I was wondering how other people felt about socialising.

It took me a long time to accept that I get absolutely no enjoyment from socialising. When I was younger, and desperately trying to fit in, I did it much more. My means of being able to engage with other people was to drink - I'm a Gen Xer, and we drank quite heavily, so no one really noticed. Luckily, I never got addicted, and when I began drinking less I found it near impossible to socialise. Not because I'm completely incapable of talking to other people (although it can be very tiring), but just because at best it's just a bit of a distraction and I'd rather be elsewhere.

It's probably the reason why I don't have any friends other than my wife, but really value the passing conversations with other people in my village when out walking the dog. 

During my autism assessment I mentioned that I get no pleasure from socialising, and I was told that it's something they hear quite often. I can turn up out of duty for family events and things when required, but otherwise, I'm very content with my books, music, podcasts, and walks with my wife. Compulsory events are very draining and throw me out of kilter for weeks before and for a few days after.

How do other people feel about socialising?

Parents
  • I enjoy socialising but find it tiring. After a 2 min conversation I feel like I just ran a marathon. I prefer socialising by texting or writing with pen and paper. Actual talking is overwhelming for me. I don't think I'm that good at it but I try.

  • I prefer texting too but also found out that other neurotypical people don’t like texting that much and if you send them big paragraphs even old friends (I would never do this with someone I’ve just met) they don’t seem to like it. Maybe it’s a disclaimer I need to put on my badge- if you don’t want to engage in big texty conversations please let me know clearly and not just blank me Joy

Reply
  • I prefer texting too but also found out that other neurotypical people don’t like texting that much and if you send them big paragraphs even old friends (I would never do this with someone I’ve just met) they don’t seem to like it. Maybe it’s a disclaimer I need to put on my badge- if you don’t want to engage in big texty conversations please let me know clearly and not just blank me Joy

Children
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