No enjoyment from socialising

I was wondering how other people felt about socialising.

It took me a long time to accept that I get absolutely no enjoyment from socialising. When I was younger, and desperately trying to fit in, I did it much more. My means of being able to engage with other people was to drink - I'm a Gen Xer, and we drank quite heavily, so no one really noticed. Luckily, I never got addicted, and when I began drinking less I found it near impossible to socialise. Not because I'm completely incapable of talking to other people (although it can be very tiring), but just because at best it's just a bit of a distraction and I'd rather be elsewhere.

It's probably the reason why I don't have any friends other than my wife, but really value the passing conversations with other people in my village when out walking the dog. 

During my autism assessment I mentioned that I get no pleasure from socialising, and I was told that it's something they hear quite often. I can turn up out of duty for family events and things when required, but otherwise, I'm very content with my books, music, podcasts, and walks with my wife. Compulsory events are very draining and throw me out of kilter for weeks before and for a few days after.

How do other people feel about socialising?

Parents
  • I like socializing, for about 10 minutes, then I need a break for a few hours. I used to feel guilty as I felt I was rude or not a good person but really, that’s just my limit and I don’t feel guilty about it anymore.

    It really affected me in church cos I just hated going to church and it made me feel so bad cos I love the concept of church. Now I’ve found a church with just about 15/20 people who I have no ties to and I leave immediately after service. I also take multiple breaks during church service without feeling guilty….

    But I really do envy those who can hold conversations for minutes and hours. I want to be like them but I also don’t want to be like them. I also don’t hesitate to whip out my ear plugs in church, I would have never tried that before but now, my sanity is precious to me so I do what I have to do.

Reply
  • I like socializing, for about 10 minutes, then I need a break for a few hours. I used to feel guilty as I felt I was rude or not a good person but really, that’s just my limit and I don’t feel guilty about it anymore.

    It really affected me in church cos I just hated going to church and it made me feel so bad cos I love the concept of church. Now I’ve found a church with just about 15/20 people who I have no ties to and I leave immediately after service. I also take multiple breaks during church service without feeling guilty….

    But I really do envy those who can hold conversations for minutes and hours. I want to be like them but I also don’t want to be like them. I also don’t hesitate to whip out my ear plugs in church, I would have never tried that before but now, my sanity is precious to me so I do what I have to do.

Children
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