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No enjoyment from socialising

whomper

I was wondering how other people felt about socialising.

It took me a long time to accept that I get absolutely no enjoyment from socialising. When I was younger, and desperately trying to fit in, I did it much more. My means of being able to engage with other people was to drink - I'm a Gen Xer, and we drank quite heavily, so no one really noticed. Luckily, I never got addicted, and when I began drinking less I found it near impossible to socialise. Not because I'm completely incapable of talking to other people (although it can be very tiring), but just because at best it's just a bit of a distraction and I'd rather be elsewhere.

It's probably the reason why I don't have any friends other than my wife, but really value the passing conversations with other people in my village when out walking the dog. 

During my autism assessment I mentioned that I get no pleasure from socialising, and I was told that it's something they hear quite often. I can turn up out of duty for family events and things when required, but otherwise, I'm very content with my books, music, podcasts, and walks with my wife. Compulsory events are very draining and throw me out of kilter for weeks before and for a few days after.

How do other people feel about socialising?

Parents

  • Perhaps it's also an age thing. I used to like socializing when I was younger, going to the theatre, lectures and classical concerts. Now, I prefer to casually chat to strangers like checkout operators and library assistants. Over the past few weeks I'd decided not to make new 'friends', my few besties having died [old age] or join any new clubs (apart from quirky online ones like The Cloud Appreciation Society.

    I find the whole thing around 'getting to know someone' really stressful. I'd much rather spend my time studying new [for me] subjects like meteorology and paleontology, reading BBC news - and shouting out the answers on 'Mastermind'! Also reading and watching TV repeats like Z cars and Morse. I don't feel the need to 'fit in' any longer which is a huge boon.

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  • Perhaps it's also an age thing. I used to like socializing when I was younger, going to the theatre, lectures and classical concerts. Now, I prefer to casually chat to strangers like checkout operators and library assistants. Over the past few weeks I'd decided not to make new 'friends', my few besties having died [old age] or join any new clubs (apart from quirky online ones like The Cloud Appreciation Society.

    I find the whole thing around 'getting to know someone' really stressful. I'd much rather spend my time studying new [for me] subjects like meteorology and paleontology, reading BBC news - and shouting out the answers on 'Mastermind'! Also reading and watching TV repeats like Z cars and Morse. I don't feel the need to 'fit in' any longer which is a huge boon.

Children