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No enjoyment from socialising

whomper

I was wondering how other people felt about socialising.

It took me a long time to accept that I get absolutely no enjoyment from socialising. When I was younger, and desperately trying to fit in, I did it much more. My means of being able to engage with other people was to drink - I'm a Gen Xer, and we drank quite heavily, so no one really noticed. Luckily, I never got addicted, and when I began drinking less I found it near impossible to socialise. Not because I'm completely incapable of talking to other people (although it can be very tiring), but just because at best it's just a bit of a distraction and I'd rather be elsewhere.

It's probably the reason why I don't have any friends other than my wife, but really value the passing conversations with other people in my village when out walking the dog. 

During my autism assessment I mentioned that I get no pleasure from socialising, and I was told that it's something they hear quite often. I can turn up out of duty for family events and things when required, but otherwise, I'm very content with my books, music, podcasts, and walks with my wife. Compulsory events are very draining and throw me out of kilter for weeks before and for a few days after.

How do other people feel about socialising?

Parents

  • Socialising makes me feel really anxious. I go out of my way to avoid socialising because I know it’ll leave me feeling stressed and tired.

    I like it more if I can plan it which is rare. But if I know who I’ll be talking to and what time I’ll be talking to them I can work out a script in my mind. This doesn’t happen often but when it does I can socialise almost well. But when it isn’t planned I’m a mess and most of the conversation will be yes and no on my part.

    whomper said:
    During my autism assessment I mentioned that I get no pleasure from socialising,

    The same for me as well. I socialise when I have to and it’s always other people who initiate a conversation, like the girls I work with, they always start talking. If I could I’d say nothing all day. I’m not anti-social but being social is just hard work and exhausting for me.

    Penny Two hearts

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  • Socialising makes me feel really anxious. I go out of my way to avoid socialising because I know it’ll leave me feeling stressed and tired.

    I like it more if I can plan it which is rare. But if I know who I’ll be talking to and what time I’ll be talking to them I can work out a script in my mind. This doesn’t happen often but when it does I can socialise almost well. But when it isn’t planned I’m a mess and most of the conversation will be yes and no on my part.

    whomper said:
    During my autism assessment I mentioned that I get no pleasure from socialising,

    The same for me as well. I socialise when I have to and it’s always other people who initiate a conversation, like the girls I work with, they always start talking. If I could I’d say nothing all day. I’m not anti-social but being social is just hard work and exhausting for me.

    Penny Two hearts

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