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No enjoyment from socialising

whomper

I was wondering how other people felt about socialising.

It took me a long time to accept that I get absolutely no enjoyment from socialising. When I was younger, and desperately trying to fit in, I did it much more. My means of being able to engage with other people was to drink - I'm a Gen Xer, and we drank quite heavily, so no one really noticed. Luckily, I never got addicted, and when I began drinking less I found it near impossible to socialise. Not because I'm completely incapable of talking to other people (although it can be very tiring), but just because at best it's just a bit of a distraction and I'd rather be elsewhere.

It's probably the reason why I don't have any friends other than my wife, but really value the passing conversations with other people in my village when out walking the dog. 

During my autism assessment I mentioned that I get no pleasure from socialising, and I was told that it's something they hear quite often. I can turn up out of duty for family events and things when required, but otherwise, I'm very content with my books, music, podcasts, and walks with my wife. Compulsory events are very draining and throw me out of kilter for weeks before and for a few days after.

How do other people feel about socialising?

Parents

  • Good morning Whomper,

    I find socializing enjoyable in short bursts, kind of like how you enjoy saying hello passing neighbors on your walks. At work I’ve got an office that is really out of the way, so I actually spend a lot of time at the front desk where I can get a little socialization and if I get overwhelmed I can escape to my office.

    I get what you’re saying about drinking for socialization. When I’m at family events I purposely get a little buzzed on whiskey so I can open up without shutting down and hiding in a corner. Thankfully my wife is aware of alcoholism in my extended family, so we normally don’t keep booze in our house.

    So all in all I get what you’re saying, even if i seem to enjoy socialization in spurts a little more.

Reply

  • Good morning Whomper,

    I find socializing enjoyable in short bursts, kind of like how you enjoy saying hello passing neighbors on your walks. At work I’ve got an office that is really out of the way, so I actually spend a lot of time at the front desk where I can get a little socialization and if I get overwhelmed I can escape to my office.

    I get what you’re saying about drinking for socialization. When I’m at family events I purposely get a little buzzed on whiskey so I can open up without shutting down and hiding in a corner. Thankfully my wife is aware of alcoholism in my extended family, so we normally don’t keep booze in our house.

    So all in all I get what you’re saying, even if i seem to enjoy socialization in spurts a little more.

Children
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