Why me? Why does it always happen to me?

TheCatWoman said:

I thought to myself, all I need to do is a simple search for another pair of the ones I've got as they fit perfectly

Why not repair them:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/wellington-boots-repair-kit/s?k=wellington+boots+repair+kit

For around £7-8 you can get a kit to seal the leak. You get to keep your comfy wellies, save creating more trash and save money.

Oh thanks Iain, I was only thinking last night if I could use a bycycle repair kit for my wellies, I'd just have to find the hole, which is probably Fearn tooth shaped and small. She bites at my feet when we're out walking and she wants me to run with her, or throw something for her. I've never been able to get her out of her obession with shoes.

I don't know what it is with me and the internet, or me and computers, I've done a search and nothing comes up, someone else does an identical search and loads of stuff comes up. I hate it when I search for something and I get one thing and a load of sponsered ads.

I'm not someone who has much stuff or much attachment to it, for me its mostly cargo, but when I need a replacement for something I actually need, like wellies and even this simple thing is too much for a machine that tells us it can help us find anythng, anywhere in the world, I lose my temper. Especially when it's items of clothing, maybe I've spent to many years walking around shops and finding nothing that fits me, being insulted by snarky shop assistants and walking round in clothes that are near rags, shoe's that are broken or have holes in. It make me feel as though I don't fit in the world and no amount of wise words from people who don't live my life actually help, in fact they make it worse, it feels like a slap on both cheeks, rahter than just the one. I feel guilty for wanting something as simple as a pair of shoes that fit and don't leak and that I'm not allowed to feel upset or angry about it.

I'm sorry if that upsets those who wish me to take a more spiritual path over something like this.

I’ve just re-read this comment and it feels a bit like a bit of a dig at me. I was just trying to be helpful. 

pietro_21 said:

She’s made similar impulsive slights at me when I have posted so perhaps she should be more careful if she doesn’t wish to be perceived as some sort of disingenuous troll.

TheCatWoman is not a troll, just a human being and an autist and like many of them she has a life of complex experiences that have shaped her personality to what it is.

She can be a bit challenging at times (as can I) in her social interactions but I have known her for quite a long time now and I feel no sense of mailice there.

We both come from a generation that is more likely to speak their mind and this can often unintentionally offend. I would say it better to learn about these different ways of communicating than taking offence as it stops you going into challenge / response mode and sometimes saying something out of your nature.

In an ideal world people would not say hurtful things but then people would also not take hurt at things that were not meant to. A healthy survival instinct is to let it wash over you if you are unsure if it was a direct insult.

In essence, Vive la différence.

She’s made similar impulsive slights at me when I have posted so perhaps she should be more careful if she doesn’t wish to be perceived as some sort of disingenuous troll.

TheCatWoman said:

wish me to take a more spiritual path

Kate Kestrel said:

it feels a bit like a bit of a dig at me

No, it isn't a dig at you, Kate. The Cat woman was only expressing that you and I made a similar suggestion about a psychological/spiritual perspective. She is really frustrated by this problem so it probably not ready to look at this aspect yet.

To clarify - the 2nd arrow and Stoic reflection are the origins of what psychologists turned into cognitive behavioural therapy. Changing what you think about something DOES have a marked effect on how you feel - this is a useful exercise at any time but doesn't preclude pursuing other solutions! 

TheCatWoman said:

wish me to take a more spiritual path

Kate Kestrel said:

it feels a bit like a bit of a dig at me

No, it isn't a dig at you, Kate. The Cat woman was only expressing that you and I made a similar suggestion about a psychological/spiritual perspective. She is really frustrated by this problem so it probably not ready to look at this aspect yet.

To clarify - the 2nd arrow and Stoic reflection are the origins of what psychologists turned into cognitive behavioural therapy. Changing what you think about something DOES have a marked effect on how you feel - this is a useful exercise at any time but doesn't preclude pursuing other solutions! 

pietro_21 said:

She’s made similar impulsive slights at me when I have posted so perhaps she should be more careful if she doesn’t wish to be perceived as some sort of disingenuous troll.

TheCatWoman is not a troll, just a human being and an autist and like many of them she has a life of complex experiences that have shaped her personality to what it is.

She can be a bit challenging at times (as can I) in her social interactions but I have known her for quite a long time now and I feel no sense of mailice there.

We both come from a generation that is more likely to speak their mind and this can often unintentionally offend. I would say it better to learn about these different ways of communicating than taking offence as it stops you going into challenge / response mode and sometimes saying something out of your nature.

In an ideal world people would not say hurtful things but then people would also not take hurt at things that were not meant to. A healthy survival instinct is to let it wash over you if you are unsure if it was a direct insult.

In essence, Vive la différence.

She’s made similar impulsive slights at me when I have posted so perhaps she should be more careful if she doesn’t wish to be perceived as some sort of disingenuous troll.