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Why me? Why does it always happen to me?

TheCatWoman

On top of all the others expensive stuff going on like xmas and dentists, my wellies have sprung a leak, just what you want when walking through an ankle deep puddle! So I thought to myself, all I need to do is a simple search for another pair of the ones I've got as they fit perfectly, easy peasy lemon squeezy, but no no no everything but what I want comes up. Why does this always happen to me? I'm so sick of it, I feel fit to burst into tears, everytime I want something, I get everything but. It dosen;t matter what form of words I use or where I search, I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with my computer and the internet in general. I ask for something perfectly reasonable and it smacks me in the face, leaving me feeling bruised and abused and absolutely useless.

  • TheCatWoman said:
    I thought to myself, all I need to do is a simple search for another pair of the ones I've got as they fit perfectly

    Why not repair them:

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/wellington-boots-repair-kit/s?k=wellington+boots+repair+kit

    For around £7-8 you can get a kit to seal the leak. You get to keep your comfy wellies, save creating more trash and save money.

  • Don't give up! I think searches have got far too inclusive because people describe their items in far too many ways, mainly to sell more. I don't know how, perhaps someone techie can help but I believe you can take an image and search for similar items?? 

    Etsy sellers might be better as you can contact sellers more easily, if you can find ones you like.

    Kate Kestrel said:
    ‘the second arrow’

    Also, I think Kate Kestrel is right - Stoics would say the same: it's not the thing itself but the impression you take from it. Take a few breaths and reconsider from a distance, as if it's happening to someone else. I think most of us agree - there are so many people trying to make profit; the quality is going down to reduce prices, base materials are being made more cheaply and there are too many selling similar items.

  • in reply to Geeky Gothic Guy
    Geeky Gothic Guy said:
    buy the same item multiple times.

    Yes, I always buy at least two and preferably in different colours. You can then use 1 to mend the others and keep them going.

  • Whilst my suggestion won’t help in this current situation, it may help in a future one. If you find an item of clothing, or in your case, wellies, that you love or that fit perfectly, buy the same item multiple times. I have many cardigans, but my favourites I have backups and some of my absolute favourites I have backups of backups, still in their original wrapping. 

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I always block unnecessary cookies, as yes they will track you across the net trying to sell you stuff like an annoying door to door salesman.

    Amazon is just a shop front these days, you might have better luck if you try find a smaller seller then emailing them? You might get a person then, and they might do the sourcing for you to get your business? Don't know if that is any use?

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    They only had one pair left in the shop when I bought these ones, having sparrows ankles lots of boots are like flip flops on me, it's a nightmare trying to find anything thst fits. Round here wellies are an essential piece of kit, we've huge puddles everywhere. It's the internet that does it for me, I go to search for something and I get everything but, it seems obsessed with selling me air fryers! Everything I try and search for I get at least one ad for an air fryer or sports equipment and clothing. It dosent' seem to matter where I go or what I look for, it always takes ages for my search to come up with any result I asked for and then there's often only one thing amoungst a mound of crap sponsered ads. Even amazon tries to get me to read romantic fiction, I have had a kindle for 5 years now and never once have I asked for romantic fiction, but I still get it, it's supposed to be based on my personal reading habits. Just another load of gender stereotype BS from from Big Tech. 

  • Nothing worse than wet feet in this country, especially not in December. Sometimes when I find something that fits and I like, I'm sorely tempted to buy a second one for the cupboard, as trying to find the same when you need it never works out!

  • It sounds like you’re at a low ebb from all the things you’ve been dealing with recently. It’s definitely not. ‘just you’! I regularly find that when yo7 want to replace an item you can’t get it again. Eg: a few weeks again I needed new slippers and ordered what looked like the exact same thing again from the same website at the same price - but when they came they were a much poorer version and worse quality even they looked the same, and they were a touch smaller too. 
    It’s definitely not just happening to you, it’s the nature of life that all things are impermanent, and it’s the nature of the society that we live in that places only stock what is profitable and what will sell. Our tv broke down this year for example and we bought what seemed to be a similar quality, same make, same price level - but the sound is poor and it has the most user unfriendly stuff on it like pop up displays telling you about other channels EVERY time you change channel - and you have to exit them every time - it’s incredibly annoying! The truth is things change, often not for the better, and we can either get really angry about or we can just do what we can to accept it and not let it get to you. Hopefully you’ll be able to find some other wellies, and yo7 never know it’s possible they might even be better than your old ones. But getting hugely frustrated about it will only make you feel worse. In Buddhism it’s called ‘the second arrow’ - the first arrow that hurts you is the bad thing that has actually happened, and the second arrow is your own reaction to the bad event (such as anger, bitterness, regret, self blame etc) that hurts you a second time. It’s best not to hurt yourself with the second arrow if you can possibly avoid iit. I know it’s easier said than done though - and I fire a lot of second arrows a lot of the time!