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Why me? Why does it always happen to me?

TheCatWoman

On top of all the others expensive stuff going on like xmas and dentists, my wellies have sprung a leak, just what you want when walking through an ankle deep puddle! So I thought to myself, all I need to do is a simple search for another pair of the ones I've got as they fit perfectly, easy peasy lemon squeezy, but no no no everything but what I want comes up. Why does this always happen to me? I'm so sick of it, I feel fit to burst into tears, everytime I want something, I get everything but. It dosen;t matter what form of words I use or where I search, I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with my computer and the internet in general. I ask for something perfectly reasonable and it smacks me in the face, leaving me feeling bruised and abused and absolutely useless.

Parents

  • It sounds like you’re at a low ebb from all the things you’ve been dealing with recently. It’s definitely not. ‘just you’! I regularly find that when yo7 want to replace an item you can’t get it again. Eg: a few weeks again I needed new slippers and ordered what looked like the exact same thing again from the same website at the same price - but when they came they were a much poorer version and worse quality even they looked the same, and they were a touch smaller too. 
    It’s definitely not just happening to you, it’s the nature of life that all things are impermanent, and it’s the nature of the society that we live in that places only stock what is profitable and what will sell. Our tv broke down this year for example and we bought what seemed to be a similar quality, same make, same price level - but the sound is poor and it has the most user unfriendly stuff on it like pop up displays telling you about other channels EVERY time you change channel - and you have to exit them every time - it’s incredibly annoying! The truth is things change, often not for the better, and we can either get really angry about or we can just do what we can to accept it and not let it get to you. Hopefully you’ll be able to find some other wellies, and yo7 never know it’s possible they might even be better than your old ones. But getting hugely frustrated about it will only make you feel worse. In Buddhism it’s called ‘the second arrow’ - the first arrow that hurts you is the bad thing that has actually happened, and the second arrow is your own reaction to the bad event (such as anger, bitterness, regret, self blame etc) that hurts you a second time. It’s best not to hurt yourself with the second arrow if you can possibly avoid iit. I know it’s easier said than done though - and I fire a lot of second arrows a lot of the time! 

Reply

  • It sounds like you’re at a low ebb from all the things you’ve been dealing with recently. It’s definitely not. ‘just you’! I regularly find that when yo7 want to replace an item you can’t get it again. Eg: a few weeks again I needed new slippers and ordered what looked like the exact same thing again from the same website at the same price - but when they came they were a much poorer version and worse quality even they looked the same, and they were a touch smaller too. 
    It’s definitely not just happening to you, it’s the nature of life that all things are impermanent, and it’s the nature of the society that we live in that places only stock what is profitable and what will sell. Our tv broke down this year for example and we bought what seemed to be a similar quality, same make, same price level - but the sound is poor and it has the most user unfriendly stuff on it like pop up displays telling you about other channels EVERY time you change channel - and you have to exit them every time - it’s incredibly annoying! The truth is things change, often not for the better, and we can either get really angry about or we can just do what we can to accept it and not let it get to you. Hopefully you’ll be able to find some other wellies, and yo7 never know it’s possible they might even be better than your old ones. But getting hugely frustrated about it will only make you feel worse. In Buddhism it’s called ‘the second arrow’ - the first arrow that hurts you is the bad thing that has actually happened, and the second arrow is your own reaction to the bad event (such as anger, bitterness, regret, self blame etc) that hurts you a second time. It’s best not to hurt yourself with the second arrow if you can possibly avoid iit. I know it’s easier said than done though - and I fire a lot of second arrows a lot of the time! 

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