I frequently confused and I'm not afraid to admit it, lots of people seem to think being confused is a bad thing and should be hidden, but if we pretend we understand when we don't are we not in more danger of being misunderstood and confused? Why is saying, 'I don't know?' such a bad thing?
Who was this deleted user, if I may ask?
Maybe, I suppose it's a possibility. People who have big egos.
I'm not sure I like concrete meanings as much as many others and to use my spice analogy others may experience flavours differently, for example my step DiL says fresh corriander tastes like soap, this is a genetic difference.
I've often actually wondered if there's a gene for being bad at maths, so many British people are bad at it, some say that it's because of poor teaching and I'm sure theres an element of that, but I'm not entirely convinced. It's like I think there must be an English gene that stops people being able to dance, the English are renowed around the world for being stiff and lacking musicality in their movements. Or at least thats my excuse for for being a terrible dancer, lol.
I actually think your interrogative mind is actually very astute there. I heard a radio show once with a Theoretical Mathematician, and they dealt in things like the philosophy of maths, and it sounded like a very deep and winding rabbit hole!
Especially when compared to something tangible like spices! We do like concrete meaning.
I know I annoy people by asking why over and over when they won't give me a satisfactory answer or one I can understand, sometimes I think I repeatedly ask why because I don't know how to frame the question any other way. For example, I don't know why 2 +2= 4, I mean I know it does, but I dont' have any sense of understanding behind it and people going on about adding and removing a certain amount of apples dosen't give me an answer. Now if you asked me why I put certain ingredients in a curry I'd be able to tell you exactly why and what each spice adds to the dish.
These sort of things, end up with me upset and confused and still asking why and the other person, jumping up and down with frustration, yelling,'because it is!'
It's as if people haven't got the patience or time to explain
I think it's often because they don't know the answer. People prefer to give wrong answers than admit not knowing because they then feel incompetent. I always respected the teachers who said they didn't know but would find out for me.
I think all social species have rules and societies and families have rules all of thier own, alongside the usual ones.
My response to being asked if I don't want people talking about me is to ask why not?
I do get annoyed with the "how do you know that?" response, I think it a fear in the hearer of appearing ignorant, I've been known to ask "how can you not know that?", often turning a question back on itself is the best thing, it dosen't make you any more popular, but it puts you on the front foot again. I've also asked why when I make a perfectly.valid statement, like 'the lightbulb in the hall has blown', 'what do you mean?' I mean WTF, am I suddenly speaking a foreign language, what did they think I said and why argue with it?
Social Rules are a bummer, for me, too. You want to start a conversation, and it's like, "Who told you?"
Yes, we seem to be a Nation of Rosie Rulebooks. Again, going back to others, people keep saying, "You don't want people talking about ye!"
I get confused when people try and tell me three different ways of doing something right away.
I get told to work things out myself and when I can't others get cross.
Somethings I just can't seem to do no matter how many times it's explained, I have a problem where some things go straight to long term memory totally bypassing short term, so I have no neural link to retrieve it. I probably have a tatty drawer in brain full of all the different times I've been told how to do something simple, or simple for others, like C&P, I know I've done it before, but I don't know how and every time I do it is like the first and I still lose things in the ether. I get upset and others get angry and I get more upset and anxious.
I get told I have to do things that make no sense, like I have to draw a plan of my garden so as I can do it properly, I can't, because I can't draw, squared paper makes my eyes go boggly, but I know exactly what I'm doing and what I want and it's my garden, why should others have to understand so precisely?
Lots of social rules make no sense, what makes it worse is that I can see all the social rules and games, but when I try and do them I still get it wrong, or worse still I name the game and the reaction to that is anger and often disgust too. How can I be meant to know these rules instinctively and follow them blindly, but not actually be aware of them? Are they really all for other people and not me? I dont' know I'm confused
Thank you Lonehare12 , you made me feel quite happy this morning.
If I don't understand and it is something important, I will ask questions till I do understand. It is usually because the instructions are wrong, or are based on unstated assumptions. In both cases it is not my issue, so I don't feel bad. It also often helps to improve the instructions, teaching, info, etc.
I guess it is my systematizing brain that always looks for rules and the root cause of any issues. I can't stop it.
I get frustrated when I need to know and there is no source of info, or if there is a source and they don't know the answers either.
It would be a better world if there were more people like you.
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I agree with what you are saying TheCatWoman and it works if you're intelligent.
The problem I have is when I say I don't understand to someone, sometimes they will tell me again in a slightly different way and I still don't get it. Then I get embarrassed and feel stupid and slow. So I'm reluctant to ask for clarification.
Even with family members because they get angry sometimes. It's as if people haven't got the patience or time to explain.
So is being confused and autistic thing?
Nah, try explaining your special interest to an NT and see how fast they get confused.
We are just also confused about a lot of stuff they paid attention to when growing up that we missed or didn't understand.
Why is saying, 'I don't know?' such a bad thing
It is sad. And it is against all books about pedagogy and education as well.
I like when someone does not understand and asks me, and I like not knowing and being explained.
Maybe there is a bit of a lack of curiosity in general. Or rush. So questions get in the way for those people. They want solutions.
So is being confused and autistic thing? It seems often I don't understand things that others find obvious. I do tend to say I don't understand. If there are other people there, hopefully it helps someone else if they didn't like to say so.
