Confused of Anglesey

I frequently confused and I'm not afraid to admit it, lots of people seem to think being confused is a bad thing and should be hidden, but if we pretend we understand when we don't  are we not in more danger of being misunderstood and confused? Why is saying, 'I don't know?' such a bad thing?

Parents
  • I agree with what you are saying  and it works if you're intelligent.

    The problem I have is when I say I don't understand to someone, sometimes they will tell me again in a slightly different way and I still don't get it.  Then I get embarrassed and feel stupid and slow. So I'm reluctant to ask for clarification.

    Even with family members because they get angry sometimes. It's as if people haven't got the patience or time to explain.

  • It's as if people haven't got the patience or time to explain

    I think it's often because they don't know the answer. People prefer to give wrong answers than admit not knowing because they then feel incompetent. I always respected the teachers who said they didn't know but would find out for me.

Reply Children
  • here it is! a video with a cat at the beginning :-) that runs thro' proof from first principles that 2-2+4!  A delightful proof that 2+2=4

    and as far as I can tell np cats injured in the process!!!

  • completely agree with th rote learning thing...

    for me my big GCE fail was English Lit.  The teachers idea of teaching was reading out loud previous essays for us to hand-write down - I couldn;t read my handwriting at the end of all this...I got an "A" for english language and was daft enough to try to do english lit a-level - fail...

    I went back and started a-levels again and took on less..  Got what was needed but then at degree level struggled with the expectation of reading out of lectures and the panic of exams.

    Back to a-levels again and eventually a course where the structure (mostly) suited what I could do.

    On the other hand "chanting" times tables in school helped me with maths - I'm lots quicker with mental arithmetic than a mate of mine who's first class honours in physics who didn't learn the same way.  I put it down to the chanting :-)

    I was lucky that I learnt to read well before school taught by my eldest sister.

    I dread to think what a muddle I would have been in if I had had to learn when at school as I found the whole experience very frightening.

  • Being poor at maths seems to be a particularly British thing among the general population, not just ND. There may well be a gene for discalculia along with dyslexia and maybe some other related things, or it could be that we're just badly taught. When an exchange program between Britain and China took place a few years ago, the Chinese teachers thought we taught to widely, but not deeply enough. Lots of British people seem to have a weird sort of pride at being so bad at maths, I'm embarressed by my inability to do maths, it's held me back in so many ways, even with specialist teaching I couldn't pass a GCSE at C grade which was the minimum you needed to pass.

    I actually have no idea if any of it's genetic, but a dance teacher told me English people are the hardest to teach of any nationality she's taught, we just don't move, she wondered if we're born stiff? 

    You know when kittens or puppies see you cleaning your teeth for the first time and really freak out because foaming at the mouth is never good in nature, because you've been bitten by something that might still be around or have some horrible illness like rabies? Thats the sort of reaction I get from people when they see me try and dance, I'm not sure they're sure that I'm not about to do a John Hurt in Alien and have something burst from my abdomen.

    I think teaching by rote is one of the worst ways of teaching as is copying down from the black board, it's mearly the notes of the teacher transfering to the notes of the student without passing through the minds of either.

  • some things one just accepts are like they are (or not fair enough...)  

    If you put 2 cardamon pods in your rice and then added another 2 how many have you added in total  ?

    However it takes a PhD in maths to explain why 2+2 does not equal 4 :

    A Mathematical Proof that 2+2≠4 and 0.99…≠1 (Really!) | by Patrick Martin | Medium

    and then the ability of them to explain it in ways that the person looking to understand it can get their head around...

  • I think it's an area where as kids we are just taught by rote -just learn and repeat without questioning. But it is the questioning and trying to find the right question that leads to new discoveries and advances in science. We need more people like you if this planet is ever going to get anywhere! 

    my step DiL says fresh corriander tastes like soap, this is a genetic difference

    Oh I didn't know it was genetic with the corriander, I like it but my husband doesn't so tend to have to leave it out. 

    if there's a gene for being bad at maths

    Do you mean like discalculia or just general dislike, which I can see the latter being true too!
    I am in the side of ASD that loves numbers. It's like a marmite subject for autists I think!

    there must be an English gene that stops people being able to dance

    If so it must have made it over to Ireland too, as my husband has two left feet and his dancing just looks uncomfortable! I love dancing, but it tends to be in the kitchen or when the kids are having a disco in their room.

  • Philosophy of maths, I'm not sure I even want to go there!

    I'm a less black and white thinker than many ND people, but "because it is" isn't an acceptable answer in other field so why should it be in maths? 

    I suspect I'm not asking the right question which is why I don't the answer I want, but I don't know what the right question is either.

  • Maybe, I suppose it's a possibility. People who have big egos.

  • I'm not sure I like concrete meanings as much as many others and to use my spice analogy others may experience flavours differently, for example my step DiL says fresh corriander tastes like soap, this is a genetic difference.

    I've often actually wondered if there's a gene for being bad at maths, so many British people are bad at it, some say that it's because of poor teaching and I'm sure theres an element of that, but I'm not entirely convinced. It's like I think there must be an English gene that stops people being able to dance, the English are renowed around the world for being stiff and lacking musicality in their movements. Or at least thats my excuse for for being a terrible dancer, lol.

  • I actually think your interrogative mind is actually very astute there. I heard a radio show once with a Theoretical Mathematician, and they dealt in things like the philosophy of maths, and it sounded like a very deep and winding rabbit hole!

    Especially when compared to something tangible like spices! We do like concrete meaning.

  • I know I annoy people by asking why over and over when they won't give me a satisfactory answer or one I can understand, sometimes I think I repeatedly ask why because I don't know how to frame the question any other way. For example, I don't know why 2 +2= 4, I mean I know it does, but I dont' have any sense of understanding behind it and people going on about adding and removing a certain amount of apples dosen't give me an answer. Now if you asked me why I put certain ingredients in a curry I'd be able to tell you exactly why and what each spice adds to the dish.

    These sort of things, end up with me upset and confused and still asking why and the other person, jumping up and down with frustration, yelling,'because it is!'