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Irritating neighbours

Sporadic Sparkly

Do you have neighbours who annoy the heck out of you?

Back in the summer, I received an unexpected visit from my council housing officer and one of her colleagues. The reason being that a complaint had been made to the council about the state of my garden. Furthermore, the complainant had also contacted the MP for my area, which had resulted in the MP putting pressure on the council to get their tenant (me) to sort out their neglected and overgrown eyesore of a garden.

My son had been with me when this visit took place. Although the housing officer could not tell us who the complainant was, my son and I were both 99.9% sure that the complainant was a particular neighbour of ours who has a reputation for being a bit of a bully.

Fortunately for me, my local council know that I can struggle physically. It was made clear that if I was perfectly able-bodied, the pressure being applied by the MP would have resulted in the council pursuing the legal route and taking me to court. That said, if I was perfectly able-bodied, it's unlikely that I would have allowed my garden to end up becoming an eyesore.

It wasn't the complaint as such that irked me, but the fact that the complainant had not considered the option of sharing their concerns about my garden with me first. I'm not an unreasonable person, or at least I don't think I am. 

I have what I consider to be a good rapport with the rest of my neighbours, but it seems like this one particular neighbour seems to take great delight in trying to antagonise and intimidate anyone and everyone to get what he wants. As my son said, if the state of my garden was causing the neighbour distress, there was nothing stopping them from going down the neighbourly route and offering to help me get it sorted.

Parents

  • Ugh I know I’m taking a break or said I would but I need to rant here. Omg I can’t take it with next door anymore I’m fed up of that brat kid crying whenever he sees me! EVERYTIME he walks past he asked why the old lady before isn’t living there anymore. Fed up of him banging and ruining my new door and now he’s even throwing and kicking balls on my window! The fact no one tells him off or anything! Must I be reminded I’m the world ugliest person? It’s easy to act like I don’t care but when I’m alone I end up crying I’m wanting to cry now! I want to report and complain but I’m worried I’ll get in a worse situation! What is it with kids born from 2013 onwards as to why they hate me? Andwhy do their parents and relatives hate me? Sorry I’m really struggling now

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I don't want to repeat what other members have said to you, but I am saddened that you have been struggling with the young child  . 

    One thing that concerns me is the belief you have that you are ugly. Having read your earlier response to TheCatWoman, I am aware of what triggered that belief. The person who triggered that belief is in your past. It was cruel of them to say those things and it's possible that they didn't actually mean what they said, but had said those things just to be cruel and hurt you.

    This is just my opinion, but holding onto that belief means that you're effectively allowing that person from your past to still have control over you. What that person may or may not have thought about you is irrelevant now. What I suppose I'm trying to say is that it is time to take back control.

    For what it's worth, I've never considered myself to be physically attractive. It used to bother me, but now it doesn't. If someone considers me to be physically unattractive, it doesn't necessarily mean that every other person will think the same. As a woman in my early fifties, I have laughter lines at the corners of my mouth, permanent furrows on my forehead, chipped/missing teeth, and the skin on my hands is losing its elasticity. If other people think I look repulsive, then shame on them for being so shallow. There's more to beauty than what a person looks like.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Hiya  sorry I have only just seen your reply just now so sorry for the late response here! 

    You are correct that this person and many people who have triggered the belief that I am ugly are all in the past in reality, I guess my concern is that I worry that I will meet even more horrible people or see those same people again and even be in such a bad or even worse position to what I have been through! I also agree with your opinion, my mum has said that as well and so has the psychologist I’ve started seeing, it’s just so much harder to move on and let go of the past, that’s always been a struggle for me though I’ll admit, I may never fully recover or it could be because I’m still dealing with the trauma I experienced in Bermuda. Also being a woman, that time of the month certainly doesn’t help! I guess I just have a lot going on lately so I know it’s going to be a long slow process but I do appreciate your reply! 

    As for the beauty, I always thought it was in the eye of the holder, its just how this manager had manipulated me and my way of thinking and now this brat next door cries at the site of me and likes to kick my new door and throw stones etc. I’m looking into getting a little tapo camera or something for the time being and if it gets worse then I have video evidence to prove if I have to go more serious. 

    Im sure you are not ugly at all, im in my mid twenties and i am already using anti ageing creams and serums to side my squidward frownlines and creases from like my nose to my mouth. Another thing that bloke manager kept picking on me for. 

    Thank you for getting back to me Slight smile

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  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Hiya  sorry I have only just seen your reply just now so sorry for the late response here! 

    You are correct that this person and many people who have triggered the belief that I am ugly are all in the past in reality, I guess my concern is that I worry that I will meet even more horrible people or see those same people again and even be in such a bad or even worse position to what I have been through! I also agree with your opinion, my mum has said that as well and so has the psychologist I’ve started seeing, it’s just so much harder to move on and let go of the past, that’s always been a struggle for me though I’ll admit, I may never fully recover or it could be because I’m still dealing with the trauma I experienced in Bermuda. Also being a woman, that time of the month certainly doesn’t help! I guess I just have a lot going on lately so I know it’s going to be a long slow process but I do appreciate your reply! 

    As for the beauty, I always thought it was in the eye of the holder, its just how this manager had manipulated me and my way of thinking and now this brat next door cries at the site of me and likes to kick my new door and throw stones etc. I’m looking into getting a little tapo camera or something for the time being and if it gets worse then I have video evidence to prove if I have to go more serious. 

    Im sure you are not ugly at all, im in my mid twenties and i am already using anti ageing creams and serums to side my squidward frownlines and creases from like my nose to my mouth. Another thing that bloke manager kept picking on me for. 

    Thank you for getting back to me Slight smile

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