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understanding my 18 year old son

dozie doh

Why do I sometimes find it difficult to under my son who has aspergers. Most of the time I am patient and understanding. Then today I just flipped. I have shouted at him and stormed off.  I now feel really guilty and have cried. I know it must be a thousand times worse for him. But sometimes its difficult. Please dont judge me.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Glad to hear that he's back on the jammie dodgers!

    One of the ideas i have about my aspergers is that my mind is more like cat's cradle of interconnected things in a bit of a jumble. I think NT people's minds are more orderly with lots of stuff neatly filed and categorised. This is my way of visualising the "associative" thinking that we are supposed to do. Does this picture make any sense to you and your son?

  • Thanku. Spoke to my son and he said he doesnt understand what goes on in his head sometimes. He said he feels like his head is full of different things. But after a good chat everything was ok. Then he asked for some jammie dodgers when I go to the shops. Thats when I knew he was fine. They are one of his food obsessions at the moment. So the last few days have been good. 

  • honestly we have all been there, i did the same a few weeks ago. Like me you realised shouting makes things worse, so i went to my garden for peace to think. I went back in, apologised and took my daughter for a drive. I found in the car she opens up more, we play our music singing along breaking the tension. I know it is hard but finding a place where you can calm down is essential.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I suspect that we have ALL cried on both sides of these relationships. Don't get hung up on it, it shows your human!

    Apologise to him, unconditionally, and show him that you love him. See if he can understand that you are finding it hard because you don't always understand him. Tell him that you need his help as he is the best person to explain to you what his world seems like.

  • Hi - I won't judge you.  We all have our gd + bad moments + feel guilty when we fall short of what we expect of ourselves.  Sometimes we need more support than we get, so if you're in that position check things out via the home pg to see what's available in your area, if you haven't already.  How old is your son?