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Stressed out!

Louise1977

I have 2 boys both with ASD at different ends of the spectrum. Was in McD's when my 6 year old who has aspergers went into a flying fit over his younger brother eating his chips. It all happened so quickly that i didnt even know what had started it off at first as i was trying to get my 2 year old to eat. My 5 year old boy started screaming like he was being murdered because his brother was shouting at him. It was a confined space and i must admit an awfully loud event. My mother then comes along, looking in shock, shouted at the older one which just made him worse, which made the younger one worse. Then she decides to tell the couple next to me that shes sorry, they are disabled children.....omg i could have killed her, the batty woman!! I continued to cuddle my younger boy to try and calm him down. Normally i woud never take my 2 boys out without my husband or teenage daughters to help, this proved that my mum is def not up to playing supportive Nan Frown I know its not her fault she doesnt understand but omg. I find the rest of my family dont care much either, or least they dont show it, they never baby sit or take kids out. My mother acted like she had never seen kids go off on one before yet she had 5 children? Is it me or am i right to feel unsupported and stressed?

Parents

  • I went through similar situations with my  boys paternal grandparents when the boys  were younger.  I found a letter written by Nancy Mucklow titled "letter to grandparents of an asperger child" if you Google it should come up.  Sadly I don't think they ever read  it, as in many ways they are still in denial.

    Anyway, the fact that your mum was able to acknowledge and tell others that the children are autistic is HUGE.  Half the battle with family is getting them to acknowledge and accept a diagnosis.  She may of also in a strange way have been defending them.  She could of said they are naughty for example, which could have been perceived as a more negative reflection on you.

    Also please don't take this the wrong way, but being embarrassed when your mum blurts out that your children are autistic may be picked up on by your children, who might start to think you are uncomfortable with their diagnosis and ultimately them.  In  other words they may think you are ashamed of them as you don't won't people to know.

    I have no doubt that you will fight for their needs tirelessly, and it looks like you have a mum who cares too.

    Hugs

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  • I went through similar situations with my  boys paternal grandparents when the boys  were younger.  I found a letter written by Nancy Mucklow titled "letter to grandparents of an asperger child" if you Google it should come up.  Sadly I don't think they ever read  it, as in many ways they are still in denial.

    Anyway, the fact that your mum was able to acknowledge and tell others that the children are autistic is HUGE.  Half the battle with family is getting them to acknowledge and accept a diagnosis.  She may of also in a strange way have been defending them.  She could of said they are naughty for example, which could have been perceived as a more negative reflection on you.

    Also please don't take this the wrong way, but being embarrassed when your mum blurts out that your children are autistic may be picked up on by your children, who might start to think you are uncomfortable with their diagnosis and ultimately them.  In  other words they may think you are ashamed of them as you don't won't people to know.

    I have no doubt that you will fight for their needs tirelessly, and it looks like you have a mum who cares too.

    Hugs

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