The futile job-hunt continues...

I went to a local city job fair and spoke to a major employer in the area. 

Their HR Manager told me that last year they had 120 vacancies when they attended the job fair - whereas, at this year's job fair they inly had 14 vacancies.

Well, the jobs in the other day's papers were the exact same two which were in last week.

Thank you

I suspect the type of therapy you would most benefit from is the private type. The NHS use such broad brush strokes in addressing out issues that they lack the detail which makes all the difference.

I'm surprised at how lacking in knowledge of autism so many of the services the NHS offer are, in spite of autism training being mandatory.

There is no shame in humble work - on many occasions over the last 2 years I have been working as a labourer carrying sand, cement, tiles, rubble etc as part of my self employed work. The grunt work still needs somone to do it and there is no shame there.

Good luck with your mental health journey and job searching.

Thanks Iain. I appreciate your input and, yes, that sounds like a valid point with regard to the unliklihood of me being taken seriously, especially the older I get and the more embarrassing it must be to sift through applications like mine which are 'high risk', as you say. I persevere with the market as I can. I was cleaning the toilets a few months ago, all very conscious that a few months before that I was huddled in a toilet, 'mind-paralysed' in a catatonic-like state of nervous breakdown in my psychiatric hospital cell. I find it very hard to move on and I'm very alert to the signs that this just isn't going to work out beyond a few days of torture, while I try vainly to prove to myself that I can do this. 

My brain has corroded too much over the years (not through substances but through sheer self-torturing anxiety and depression) for me to 'step out of the box' of PAYE good employee performance monkey and aspire to anything like self-employment. My ex now works from home, which seems to alleviate her anxiety to an encouraging extent, bug for me I need to be around people, whilst paradoxically feeling so alienated from others. 

My meltdowns are very well contained. I see myself descending in my mind into a toddler-like state of pure panic and hysteria but I never express it, though my impulsivity is scary and I sometimes manage to stop the predicted outburst only just before it's too late. It feels like being taken over. 

Therapy is what I was expecting as a diagnostic pathway for the personality disorder that I was given in hospital, but it seems that the mental health services would rather I had the autism assessment checked until - and even then it's debatable - any kind of therapy is forthcoming. But, yes, I certainly feel like I've been traumatised enough to benefit from some kind of therapy - though 'talking therapy' has been ruled out for me because I am deemed to be 'too complex'. Go figure.

mr.chip said:

I just try to remain calm at the prospect of knowing that I'll likely see how long I last before I can't stand it and quit before anyone else gets to experience my meltdowns.

From my time hiring staff we were trained that candidates with a list of recent short term positions are a high risk.

Why are they unable to hold down a job? It is a red flag that gets you immediately put into the "only if there isn't a better candidate pile" for interviews and these are rarely called in to actually interview.

I get it that there are all sorts of reasons why this may be the case but when you are getting hundreds of applications for a role then this is just using probability to help sift the pile to the best oprions.

The one thing I would recommend if you can afford it is to get a therapist to help with the anxiety build ups that are leading to your meltdowns. There are a range of tools at your disposal that you can learn and use to keep stress levels low enough to survive.

My opinion is that the workplace is not likely to change so if we want to survive in it, we need to learn to cope better. It sucks, but it is a survival technique.

How about going self employed? Are there any roles you could do that would work for you?

Still stuck in basic entry operative roles as I near 40, I scroll Indeed to submit my pathetic CV to a variety of potential employers. 'Mail sorter' was the latest one. The AI bot gave me the all clear for a human phone call at some undetermined point in time and space, and I just try to remain calm at the prospect of knowing that I'll likely see how long I last before I can't stand it and quit before anyone else gets to experience my meltdowns. It's getting harder and harder to even be taken seriously these days, anyway. I don't drive, scared of operating machinery, my employment history is farcical and now with my mental health crisis it's not looking good at all. I see a disability work coach at the Jobcentre once a month and try to keep on doing a vocational rehabilitation course through the NHS but I can't stand living on benefits. I haven't resigned myself to the fate of not being able to work, but neither have I concluded that there is some kind of role out there for me that will work out to everyone's benefit and stop me from existing at the taxpayer's expense. One day I'll be back on that payroll, paying tax and NI contributions. One day...

Stuart333 said:

Before the internet, if you wanted someone who lived locally for a local job, you'd advertise in the local papers,

This is how my mum would go on dates. She’d read the lonely hearts in the back of the Friday-ad. Not sure if this is still a thing? Unrelated to job I know. 

I feel that the way a lot of jobs are advertised comes across like you have to be perfect at everything. I know they are looking for the best candidates but I’d prefer a much more friendly approach with something along the lines of;

No previous experience required, as long as you are willing to learn and be part of the team, we pride ourselves on being a friendly and welcoming work force, apply today. 

You do occasionally see job ads similar to the one above but not enough. Just something a little less formal, it’s usually must have which instantly puts me off. 

The technique is to cultivate them in the good times so you have people in the bad times.

It starts with people keeping in contact at school, college and uni, then keeping in contact with people you meet through work, social events (weddings, parties), and random people in the pub, etc.

I'm crap at all of them, I never saw why it mattered, till much too late.

Also, of the people I did know, I was always too scared or embarrassed to ask them for help. Yet I have got jobs for several people who have contacted me over the years. Including one a few months ago.

Glad you are at least finding some vacancies to apply for in the first place. Its a start, even if it doesn't get you very far. Last time I had a job interview was 15 years ago.

>It is why networking is so effective as it helps people find each other. We are at a disadvantage here as we have small social circles, and tend to feel awkward talking about ourselves or asking for help.

I completely agree with this. It is unfortunate that I know very few people with jobs, and those who do have jobs certainly have no interest in having me go and work for their organisations.

I got my first job in a shop because a relative worked there. Back in those days the shop (part of a very large national chain) had a personnel office in store. They no longer do, so I've no idea how you'd go about getting a job there any more.

Stuart333 said:

It is why networking is so effective

I have (grit one's teeth) been trying to network more.

It is probably fair to say:"you win some, you lose some".

By that I mean; some of my new networking efforts have been uncomfortable but bearable (need a quiet day following though)...while other ones have been a crash and burn disaster (not to be repeated).

It is not that I was unhappy with my behaviour at those networking efforts - more that I am not going to re-inflict upon myself the super-poor behaviour of some others encountered at the poor events.

Whether the networking efforts will be productive - time will tell.

In the meantime, I am viewing the networking involvement as keeping me used to social style interactions while I am out of the workplace.

My experience is very different.   

Plenty of jobs being advertised and many i can and want to do.

Over the last year I've had around two interviews a week.  Plenty of job seeking and interview advice.  I spent the last year on an employability course, one day a week.

But, many interviewers don't even bother to reply that I've been unsuccessful.  And in the past when I started work, it's been a struggle to stay in work because the employer soon realises that they made a mistake in hiring me and they do everything they can to get rid of me.

Before the internet, if you wanted someone who lived locally for a local job, you'd advertise in the local papers, or perhaps put a job in the local dole office.

But these days everything is online and nobody can see the wood for the trees. Ads are deluged with applications from across the globe. Often, like ships in the night, ideal employer and employee sail past each other unaware the other is out there.

It is why networking is so effective as it helps people find each other. We are at a disadvantage here as we have small social circles, and tend to feel awkward talking about ourselves or asking for help.

Generally local papers have died or have small readerships so advertisers don't see the value. Perhaps it would be good to resurrect them.