What do you want to do or be when you grow up?

I've never had an ambition, or a goal/s in life, at 63 I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I don't know if it's because I was never encouraged to do anything when I was a child, although I was often discouraged. If like most little girls I said I wantd to be a nurse, I was told that I wouldn't really want to that as it would involve carrying used bed pans around. A wish to be a hairdresser was met with disgust.

We had no careers advice at school, or at least not until we'd made our exam choices and it was to late to change anything. Some of the teachers said there was no point in educating us as we'd only go off and get married and have babies.

After leaving school, I was asked what I wanted to do and could never answer, I simply didn't know, I remember being told to search through a filing cabinet of folders about possible careers and found nothing, I was just overwhelmed. I think it also didn't help that a "career" was a fairly new thing, for people of my class, we's always had "jobs", which was a very different thing.

How did you find the thing you wanted to do, or do you still not know?

Do you do the job you trained for? 

Parents
  • If like most little girls I said I wantd to be a nurse, I was told that I wouldn't really want to that as it would involve carrying used bed pans around.

    I have to keep this in mind. My Autistic daughter really wants to be a cop because she’s named after a late police officer. We’re trying not to discourage it, but at the same time there’s no way she’ll ever be equipped to handle such a hard job. I don’t want her to be disappointed later.

    I once asked her “What if you get called to help someone in their house and the home smells horrible?” (she has strong aversions to smell). She responded “Then I’ll bring a flower in to sniff while I work!”

    She’s only seven, I know it’ll probably change, but I need to remember not to crush her dreams in the meantime.

  • Not saying this is the same - just my experience and reasons for hope in her dreams. I was a police officer for 8yrs (plus 3 in custody)..... you're right it's a very hard job for someone with autism. But there were moments where my ordered brain and talent for seeing patterns was greatly appreciated by the court system because my files were concise and I recognised patterns others never saw - I worked in investigation. I honestly think if I'd known then I was autisic and accomodations put in place - I could have coped much better. It did end in burn out, but even that is not so bad, I've a life long pension to live on. 

    There are roles in intelligence that greatly rely on pattern recognition - these are part of police staff (or even intelligence agencies) which are office based but with autism being more widely known all the time - by the time she grows up - she could be sought after. Already the Uk intelligence agencies seek neurodivergent people for some pattern recogniton and other specific jobs that others wouldn't be able to do as well. 

    Perhaps encourage her in wanting to help people and serve her country - there will be a place for her. 

Reply
  • Not saying this is the same - just my experience and reasons for hope in her dreams. I was a police officer for 8yrs (plus 3 in custody)..... you're right it's a very hard job for someone with autism. But there were moments where my ordered brain and talent for seeing patterns was greatly appreciated by the court system because my files were concise and I recognised patterns others never saw - I worked in investigation. I honestly think if I'd known then I was autisic and accomodations put in place - I could have coped much better. It did end in burn out, but even that is not so bad, I've a life long pension to live on. 

    There are roles in intelligence that greatly rely on pattern recognition - these are part of police staff (or even intelligence agencies) which are office based but with autism being more widely known all the time - by the time she grows up - she could be sought after. Already the Uk intelligence agencies seek neurodivergent people for some pattern recogniton and other specific jobs that others wouldn't be able to do as well. 

    Perhaps encourage her in wanting to help people and serve her country - there will be a place for her. 

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