Lonely and depressed.

I can relate to the messages above as I feel lonely a lot of the time.

I am still living with my partner but we don't have a close relationship and are splitting up when I find somewhere to live.  I very much need companionship and someone to share everything with. I find it difficult to be without a partner to love in a mental and physical way. it's very difficult when you don't socialize easily and don't get to interact with people on a daily basis. I have tried to find people similar to myself on penfriend sites so that we could get to know each other gradually by writing to open up some communication but it's not easy to find genuine people on there so I gave up trying.

Anyway, sorry if this is a bit of a whinge, I'm just feeling a little lonely at the moment.

[removed by moderator] Message irrelevant to the discussion above

I can relate to your situation too.  Once a fortnight I have a conversation with a therapist + occassional extras.  Like Longman I have had to accept it. I spend quite a bit of time on internet courses particularly in computing.  It was worst in my 30's as I felt the longing for companionship that you clearly speak of.

Can you walk?  Walking groups, especially the shorter distance ones, are supposed to be quite good for making friends, as you can chat to people as you walk, but don't need to feel uncomfortable if you have nothing to say.  And people don't just stay with the same person all the time so you might get to know several people. The problem with the archery and the gaming groups is they are about the activity and there isn't much chance to get to know people.

Hello, yes, I can relate to all of this 100%.

It feels like a double-fold issue, there are the difficulties around socialising that seem to be inherent to autism, and then, this issue is compounded by the fact that most people really struggle to understand how this difficulty feels in and of itself...

So it is difficult to the point of causing health issues attempting to even approach some kind of 'normal' amount of conventional socialising, and doing so only rubs in the fact of being different, if that makes sense.

That is how it feels to me anyway - it is rather despair inducing, enduring this level of isolation, with the sense that attempts at alleviating it are not only futile, but compound other health issues such as anxiety and the stress caused by sensory factors.

I wish I could suggest some kind of practical solutions, but I can't.

Trouble is companionship depends on the conventional social interfaces. However the more interpersonal the dialogue, the greater the depenence on non-verbal. You have to be saying the right things, making the right gestures and be "in tune" with the other person.  It is really hard to do if you have autism.

Socialisation that is impersonal, such as the usual niceties exchanged at a club or society or with people you deal with routinely, can be learned by practice and mostly achieved. But these encounters don't lead to development of any companionable feelings.

I know this only too well and at nearly 64 have just had to learn to make the best of fleeting company and soldier on in my own little world.

Until all the Health Professionals iout there start to consider daily life with autism, rather than the more lucrative opportunities of finding a cure or analysing the inner workings of imagination and empathy, nothing is going to change.

Try searching loneliness on the NAS website....lol

I do a lot of committee work. If well managed it is sensorily manageable, and the general interchange is OK for me. It does give me some outside involvement but never companionship.

Thank you for your responses Hope, and Azalea.

Wish I could say I'm feeling less lonely and depressed now, but I can't.

I go to archery upto 3 times a week, one gaming club once a week and another once a month.

I also see one or other of my PAs three times a week.

But none of that helps. When I get back from a club, or when my my PA leaves, I'm still alone. I still have no-one to share things with. No companionship.

I watch things on iPlayer, surf the internet, paint figures, and do other things to keep myself occupied, but they offer nothing but distraction.

I still have an aching hole in me that can not be filled by these things.

And it hurts.

Hi, and welcome back! I have been missing your posts.

Yeah, I can feel anxious when I am alone for long periods, and because I also struggle with making friends, let alone finding a partner, I cannot offer much advice on that front. However I do have a pen-pal who I got to know via Asperger United (do you receive the magazine?).  I also volunteer once a week at Age UK - volunteering helps with loneliness, as does reading books, visiting Internet forums like this one, and ensuring I get out and do something most days of the week so that I have a routine.