Family struggles

Some families are like that, I think big loving extended families are held up as both the norm and something to be aspired to, but whilst it might be great, theres another side to them too, monitoring to make sure nobody steps to far away from the expected and if one person does something they all have to do it. Petty jealousies, somebody in every generation inheriting a role whether they like it or not, the things you have to like and not like.

Do you understand them, do you want to? Have they always been like this, are the rest of the family close to each other and not to you?

My Dad came from a big family, yet I met few of my cousins or aunts and uncles, new ones were still popping out of the woodwork until a few years ago. My Mum was an only child until she was 14, I knew her brother, but none of her aunts, uncles and cousins, the exception being my nans aunt. I feels really weird when everyone else has neices and nephews, aunts and uncles who visit eachother, keep in touch send presents for xmas and birthdays. When I've encountered this in other peoples families I feel I stick out like a sore thumb, I don't know what to do or how to be. I used to really greive or not having a family like those who were big and close, then I started to realise the freedoms it gave me, of not being tied to expectations of what or who I could be and started to relish making myself up as I went along, its not easy though, as theres no real safety net, but it's good.

Some families are like that, I think big loving extended families are held up as both the norm and something to be aspired to, but whilst it might be great, theres another side to them too, monitoring to make sure nobody steps to far away from the expected and if one person does something they all have to do it. Petty jealousies, somebody in every generation inheriting a role whether they like it or not, the things you have to like and not like.

Do you understand them, do you want to? Have they always been like this, are the rest of the family close to each other and not to you?

My Dad came from a big family, yet I met few of my cousins or aunts and uncles, new ones were still popping out of the woodwork until a few years ago. My Mum was an only child until she was 14, I knew her brother, but none of her aunts, uncles and cousins, the exception being my nans aunt. I feels really weird when everyone else has neices and nephews, aunts and uncles who visit eachother, keep in touch send presents for xmas and birthdays. When I've encountered this in other peoples families I feel I stick out like a sore thumb, I don't know what to do or how to be. I used to really greive or not having a family like those who were big and close, then I started to realise the freedoms it gave me, of not being tied to expectations of what or who I could be and started to relish making myself up as I went along, its not easy though, as theres no real safety net, but it's good.