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Sometimes shrinks really get on my nerves: A Rant

maxlinger60

Love to all you psychologists out there, but there's definitely a bell-curve of efficacy. Too little, and it doesn't work. Too much, and every little issue feels like opening a festering wound that should've been let be. You become a case study, an interesting egg to crack. Life's got problems, sure, but sometimes all we need is someone to tell us that it's not the end of the world, help us problem solve, and some therapists just aren't good at that. I don't need you to psychoanalyze my every emotion. I just need space, and reassurance that this too shall pass with a little focus and clarity. Some therapists just aren't good at empowering people, and me having demand avoidance doesn't help with that. 

My doctor told me today that she felt I wasn't being honest with her about some issues I was having, and I had no clue how to respond besides saying, "I didn't want you to know that. It wasn't your business." Frankly, I felt violated by the idea that I had to even open up to anybody about that particular thing, or meet the goals she was setting for me. Maybe I'm just resistant to her in particular. Who knows. The majority of my "trauma" (if you could really call it that) comes from medical professionals who took their practice way too far and made me share things I wasn't comfortable with.

I am a big proponent of therapy, but at a certain point, we need to stop normalizing ripping apart our psyche for someone to put back together. I need help healing myself, not letting you reshape me into your image. There is something so mortifying about the process, and we don't need to prostrate our entire selves before the altar of psychologists.

Anybody else?

Parents

  • I just output everything I could think of, and wrote down anything I missed, many pages of typing. I analysed  my whole history myself and re- traumatized myself, as I wanted to know what was causing my issues, then went to the psychologist to get them to validate my ideas so I was not self diagnosing. I have a very good memory, including some conversations from decades ago, I can even see people's faces and reactions to things I said.

    The psychologists only know what you tell them. So I thought to get the best answer I would tell them everything. After decades of bottling stuff up due to shame, guilt, fear, confusion, I just shared it all.

    They provided a some useful pointers and corrected some of my cognitive distortions. They suggested autism which I was negative to initially.

    Mostly it became my new special interest and I have spent a few hundred hours on it over the last few months.

    I said at the start i would need to convince myself of anything they said, I wouldn't just accept it.

    It worked and I have greater clarity.

    Note that I could not have done this in the past, I found it impossible to talk and be open. But for some reason the dam broke this Jan and I could not hold it anymore. If you can be open, do try. If you have someone good they will not be judgemental and it will help to get it all out. They should be able to see the main issues and ignore the rest, plus steer you if you get sidetracked. But it is your session, so it is also partly up to you.

    I was clear about what I wanted to solve, as I wrote the goals down at the start to maintain some focus. It is my technical brain analysing stuff. It kept most of the emotions out of it, till 4am each morning when it hit.

    Perhaps my age and idea of what I wanted, plus having some money so I picked experienced people, has made a difference. I somehow just lost the shame and embarrassment.

    I feel like I have done most of the work myself, which I think they agree with, and I have made significant progress. I think the dysfunctional thinking was also related to burnout.

Reply

  • I just output everything I could think of, and wrote down anything I missed, many pages of typing. I analysed  my whole history myself and re- traumatized myself, as I wanted to know what was causing my issues, then went to the psychologist to get them to validate my ideas so I was not self diagnosing. I have a very good memory, including some conversations from decades ago, I can even see people's faces and reactions to things I said.

    The psychologists only know what you tell them. So I thought to get the best answer I would tell them everything. After decades of bottling stuff up due to shame, guilt, fear, confusion, I just shared it all.

    They provided a some useful pointers and corrected some of my cognitive distortions. They suggested autism which I was negative to initially.

    Mostly it became my new special interest and I have spent a few hundred hours on it over the last few months.

    I said at the start i would need to convince myself of anything they said, I wouldn't just accept it.

    It worked and I have greater clarity.

    Note that I could not have done this in the past, I found it impossible to talk and be open. But for some reason the dam broke this Jan and I could not hold it anymore. If you can be open, do try. If you have someone good they will not be judgemental and it will help to get it all out. They should be able to see the main issues and ignore the rest, plus steer you if you get sidetracked. But it is your session, so it is also partly up to you.

    I was clear about what I wanted to solve, as I wrote the goals down at the start to maintain some focus. It is my technical brain analysing stuff. It kept most of the emotions out of it, till 4am each morning when it hit.

    Perhaps my age and idea of what I wanted, plus having some money so I picked experienced people, has made a difference. I somehow just lost the shame and embarrassment.

    I feel like I have done most of the work myself, which I think they agree with, and I have made significant progress. I think the dysfunctional thinking was also related to burnout.

Children
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