Selective Memory

Jonb2699 said:

you were rehearsing your parts of the conversation in your head.

I get you there. You're always pre-empting the flow of the conversation, and you working so hard on that you actually forget what the conversation is about!

And yes, it's selective in that it's informed by interests, and sometimes things that are like mental notes (times of appointments, upcoming birthdays, bill payments etc.) you need to remember, it's more likely to be forgotten.

Sorry, I've waffled a bit. I suppose it's this mental multitasking: it so, so hard to do. It's almost  as hard as actual multitasking

I find that I have an excellent memory most of the time and can remember events and conversations from as far back as about 40 years ago, what I have discovered during my life is that I tend to remember things that were particularly important at the time as well as things that I have an interest in and certain forms of data if you will.

I tend to have trouble remembering more trivial data such as something someone says to me that I am not concentrating fully on or the film I saw that I didn't find that stimulating, so not necessarily selective I think just more attuned to things that my mind considers more important to me personally, like a favourite song that you know all the lyrics to rather than a conversation you were only half concentrating on because you were rehearsing your parts of the conversation in your head.

I find that if i have a specific interest in something, that information or memory is locked in, not easily forgotten but easy to recall.

If it's something that's not necessarily of little interest, but something involving the minutae of daily life, things to do, people to meet, places to go that are neither interesting nor boring - simply are things you're expect to know - it's more likely to fall out of your head. There is nothing to anchor it down, to keep it locked in.

That's the challenge I think 

My memory is definitely selective. It is generally extremely good but there are some things I just don't remember. Like every thing else in my brain it's one extreme or the other.

 no, I used my proper full name before (shh, it's secret).

But I am really Gordon, and really not Ramsay. I can't cook very well, but I have got a potty mouth

Yeah. Check Orion Kelly on YouTube. He's been doing podcasts, vids, streams etc for 3 years now, so there's a lot to go through. He can rant a bit too (especially recently about RFK Jr. and his ridiculous views on tackling the "autism epidemic"!) But, he makes the rants funny, so he's quite entertaining too. 

That wasn't the George version you came here with at first !!    See, I remember things like that very well 

You know, my memory isn't bad either. It fails me only when it comes to certain things. You think that autism is the only reason? Hmm... This topic is very interesting and I'm going to do some research on it! 

Thank you buddy..I hope your situation improves soon too.

Ah I see in that case I can struggle with remembering peoples names, even those I’ve known for a while. I do recognise faces mainly….

Thank you Evi ️

I know I have an exceptional memory, but it's for music. I can tell you about a particular album, who plays on it, where it was bought, the circumstances in which I came ro hear about it, etc. However, give me a date I need to remember and it goes in one ear and out the other.

I guess that's the "selective" part.

I'm with you on that one. Remembering birthdays is tricky. Remembering appointments, especially if they are booked way in advance, is hard also.

I only know my name because it's sewn in the back of my clothing (my real name is George of Asda) ️

Gordon-not-Ramsay said:

I've had something of a good day

That's great!  

Gordon-not-Ramsay said:

He said there is a trait called selective memory.

That totally describes my experience! I think it might be an ADHD thing though, because some autistics have exceptional memory.

I forget about namedays, birthdays, the names of new people I meet, and lots of other stuff. It's not an excuse, it's the truth! That's how my brain works! I won't apologise for that and neither should you! 

I hope you have an even better day today! 

Gordon-not-Ramsay said:

This sounded like the perfect excuse for forgetting birthdays and anniversaries

Doesn't it?   And I'm useless at this, and will always be.  Unless social media reminds me, that is - one of the few things it gets right, if people have inputted the correct DOB in the first place, that is. 

But it struck me as potentially useful in the PTSD sense, possibly.  If only we could concentrate long enough to absorb this kind of material.

I am pleased you've had a better day Gordon-not-Ramsay 

I think Orion was talking in terms of things like putting names to faces, remembering certain spoken cues.

I know from my experience that I have a terrible memory for names, but good with faces. Its like "I'm sure youre someone i know." Now, putting a name to that face, forget it! But yeah, short term can be shoddy at times, especially under stressful conditions, ie.most of the time!

However, I can rattle of evety album and single by David Bowie in chronological order. Not a lot of use when you can't find your phone though, I must admit.

Like most things about this condition, it's different for different people.

Thanks fi6r sharing ️

No worries. Be you and be happy, my friend

I generally have a very good memory both for facts  and visually. Probably my best attribute. I sometimes struggle with very short term memory issue though. Forgetting to bring things, losing or leaving my phone behind is frequent, these issues are way worse if I get interrupted….i

I don't want to reconcile. That's over with now and I don't want them in my life. They still think that I need medication to be 'normal', so no thanks.

You're welcome btw, and thank you for your kind words.

Sorry to hear your story. I have to say, as far as Orion's video, he said how it's usually, but not necessarily, a traumatic childhood experience that leaves the holes. Sure, they are likely to, but not always the case. It could be something quite incongruous that later turns out to be important to someone else.

I had quite a good childhood, though the problems i did face (bullying, out of the loop, feeling like an outcast or an alien) I see as being down to the condition now I'm more aware of autism.

As for your mum, I guess it is down to the fact you don't get given a parenting handbook when a child is born (thinking of a Johnny Mathis song now!) Any mistakes made tend to be chalked down to experience, swept under the carpet, and other such clichés. That seems to absolve parents of blame, even if the child does not feel the same way.

I do hope she comes around and realises she could be missing out on your life and your milestones. I'm much older and both my parents are sadly no longer around, but I know they loved me and I them. So, my fingers are crossed you can reconcile. And thank you for responding.

️