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Same meaning - different wording?

Gordon-not-Ramsay

Does anybody get this situation?

You're in a group discussion and you state your opinion on the matter, and people disregard it or dismiss it out of hand. Then, someone else will have their say and they get everyone nodding their  heads in agreement, in spite of the fact they have just aired the same opinion as you did  but worded it differently. You thinking to yourself, "that's exactly what I was saying!"

This has happened so many times, I've felt like I'm speaking an alien language!

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  • Gordon-not-Ramsay said:
    You thinking to yourself, "that's exactly what I was saying!"

    I think this happens as us autists have such low standing in social situations that the group places little value on our contributions, but when someone else thinks about it, regurgitates it in their own words then the group pay attention.

    This is something I have experienced my whole working life (32 years in IT) and have developed a thick skin of letting my manager or colleagues take the glory for having the idea, using the "its for the good of the company" as the justification.

  • in reply to Iain

    I get what you mean. It's not right or fair, but it's much less of a headache.

    You could always blow your top with them, shout at them to listen, but then you get the "take a chill pill" stuff. It's very demoralising. Thumbsup

  • in reply to Gordon-not-Ramsay
    Gordon-not-Ramsay said:
    It's not right or fair,

    I see it as simply the dynamics of societies. It has always been this way since we had speech and I suspect always will be.

    As autists we tend to run afoul of this aspect much more than NTs do but many of them also experience it.

    I doubt society will ever be able to change this so my take is that we need to learn this rule, accept it and live with it.

    The Serenity Prayer pretty much covers this:

    O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other.

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  • in reply to Gordon-not-Ramsay
    Gordon-not-Ramsay said:
    It's not right or fair,

    I see it as simply the dynamics of societies. It has always been this way since we had speech and I suspect always will be.

    As autists we tend to run afoul of this aspect much more than NTs do but many of them also experience it.

    I doubt society will ever be able to change this so my take is that we need to learn this rule, accept it and live with it.

    The Serenity Prayer pretty much covers this:

    O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other.

Children
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