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Having a bad day today

Mason

I'm just feeling bad and no one understands the difficulties I'm having in life. Its so hard sometimes. Today I went to see my friend from growing up, she always looked after me made sure I had everything I needed, helped me straighten up my clothes (even though I never knew I was even untidy) and she fought off the bullies for me as much as she could. She is now married and trying to sort out her career and trying to plan when to get pregnant, basically what an adult should be doing. She keeps wanting me to find a boyfriend and other people from work do aswell for some reason, I don't understand what difference it makes to them anyway, but they keep going on about it. the thing is, I don't want to be alone forever, but I can't imagine anyone coming into my life and having to deal with someone wanting me to be with them all the time and not understanding when I need space or when I can't deal with a social situation.

I feel like no one understands the severety of the problems I'm trying to deal with. Today in town she still had to stop me crossing the roads while traffic was coming because I was in an unfamiliar place and found having roads and trams in the middle of the town centre too confusing, I just didn't notice them as roads. She always used to have to do the same when I was little, but surely she shouldn't have to look after me in just the same way now I'm 27. It makes me feel so childish, stupid and useless at everything and I feel like I'll never have that normal life, I'm stuck and I don't know how to get past it, Im back living with my dad now too and I've reverted more to my childhood since moving back here, like being in the familiar place where I grew up has taken me back to that time. I feel like I'll be here forever and never be able move on because I can't imagine anything changing. 

Sorry, I guess I'm just feeling depressed about things at the moment and want to get it out.

Parents

  • Thank you blue86, it's so hard to believe that things could ever change, I feel like I'm going to be alone forever, but I'll try to keep positive and hope that things do change eventually, it's not that I'm in a rush for anything but i don't want to miss out on life because of my social problems and because my mind works differently. sorry to hear you're in a similar position but it's nice to know we're not alone with these problems.

    Lilratch I know exactly how you feel too, when your head wants things a certain way and gets too involved in other activities but you can't make yourself think the way you want to. I have intense interests which can often change and it makes it hard for me to pin things down but some of them I keep on doing and the interest always stays with me but the intensity moves on to something else, so when i work all week and am so busy with these interests after work there's no time to meet people and socialise anyway and it's even harder when i don't really want to, I want a normal life and someone who understands me but also I want my space and to pursue my interests without someone judging me for them. It's much easier to be alone, but I'd hate to be alone forever.

    yesterday at work (I work in a restaurant) I was clearing a table and next to me there were two young mothers one with a baby and another with a toddler; they were chatting away and the toddler tried to talk to me but I wouldnt know what to say to a toddler because i can't understand them and they can't understand me so what would I say. I just smiled and hoped that would be enough and it was hard because I want to have the kind of life they have with husband and kids but I don't know if I ever could, kids make me uncomfortable because I don't know what to do... I just felt so far from them and so different from them it really bothered me. 

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  • Thank you blue86, it's so hard to believe that things could ever change, I feel like I'm going to be alone forever, but I'll try to keep positive and hope that things do change eventually, it's not that I'm in a rush for anything but i don't want to miss out on life because of my social problems and because my mind works differently. sorry to hear you're in a similar position but it's nice to know we're not alone with these problems.

    Lilratch I know exactly how you feel too, when your head wants things a certain way and gets too involved in other activities but you can't make yourself think the way you want to. I have intense interests which can often change and it makes it hard for me to pin things down but some of them I keep on doing and the interest always stays with me but the intensity moves on to something else, so when i work all week and am so busy with these interests after work there's no time to meet people and socialise anyway and it's even harder when i don't really want to, I want a normal life and someone who understands me but also I want my space and to pursue my interests without someone judging me for them. It's much easier to be alone, but I'd hate to be alone forever.

    yesterday at work (I work in a restaurant) I was clearing a table and next to me there were two young mothers one with a baby and another with a toddler; they were chatting away and the toddler tried to talk to me but I wouldnt know what to say to a toddler because i can't understand them and they can't understand me so what would I say. I just smiled and hoped that would be enough and it was hard because I want to have the kind of life they have with husband and kids but I don't know if I ever could, kids make me uncomfortable because I don't know what to do... I just felt so far from them and so different from them it really bothered me. 

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