Having a bad day today

I'm just feeling bad and no one understands the difficulties I'm having in life. Its so hard sometimes. Today I went to see my friend from growing up, she always looked after me made sure I had everything I needed, helped me straighten up my clothes (even though I never knew I was even untidy) and she fought off the bullies for me as much as she could. She is now married and trying to sort out her career and trying to plan when to get pregnant, basically what an adult should be doing. She keeps wanting me to find a boyfriend and other people from work do aswell for some reason, I don't understand what difference it makes to them anyway, but they keep going on about it. the thing is, I don't want to be alone forever, but I can't imagine anyone coming into my life and having to deal with someone wanting me to be with them all the time and not understanding when I need space or when I can't deal with a social situation.

I feel like no one understands the severety of the problems I'm trying to deal with. Today in town she still had to stop me crossing the roads while traffic was coming because I was in an unfamiliar place and found having roads and trams in the middle of the town centre too confusing, I just didn't notice them as roads. She always used to have to do the same when I was little, but surely she shouldn't have to look after me in just the same way now I'm 27. It makes me feel so childish, stupid and useless at everything and I feel like I'll never have that normal life, I'm stuck and I don't know how to get past it, Im back living with my dad now too and I've reverted more to my childhood since moving back here, like being in the familiar place where I grew up has taken me back to that time. I feel like I'll be here forever and never be able move on because I can't imagine anything changing. 

Sorry, I guess I'm just feeling depressed about things at the moment and want to get it out.

Parents
  • Hi Mason,

    Can I just say, you are not alone and it's good that you've found the words to say how you feel. Personally, i feel very similar to you a lot of the time. Wondering why I struggle to cope with things others find second nature and frequently wondering whether I'm capable of doing everything i've taken on. I'm 48 now and everyday is a battle on some level. Some periods have been good in my life, others appauling, but I have to embrace each day anew in search of happier times. To look at me you would never know and many see an intellegent, confident person before them, however that isn't really me. That's just my facade. I've only very recently come to the conclusion I have ASD. So many things fell into place once I began to learn about it. The coping strategies one developes subconciously are remarkable really. In life you've probably employed many yourself without even realizing it.

    Having a companion who understands who you are, is an asset and can be lifechanging for some. I wouldn't view it as a negative. If you are lucky their weakness will be your forte and vice versa, that way a balance is reached. I'm sure that you have some very positive and unique gifts to offer someone, so don't feel childish or stupid.

    My partner told me this morning that i'm far too hard on myself. He's right of course. I can only do my best and that's all. Perhaps you too need to be kinder to yourself. Accepting who we are isn't easy, but once we do we open up many more doors to enable us to cope with lifes journey.

    I wish you well and hope your spirits lift.

    Take care,

    God Bless

    Coogybear. :)

Reply
  • Hi Mason,

    Can I just say, you are not alone and it's good that you've found the words to say how you feel. Personally, i feel very similar to you a lot of the time. Wondering why I struggle to cope with things others find second nature and frequently wondering whether I'm capable of doing everything i've taken on. I'm 48 now and everyday is a battle on some level. Some periods have been good in my life, others appauling, but I have to embrace each day anew in search of happier times. To look at me you would never know and many see an intellegent, confident person before them, however that isn't really me. That's just my facade. I've only very recently come to the conclusion I have ASD. So many things fell into place once I began to learn about it. The coping strategies one developes subconciously are remarkable really. In life you've probably employed many yourself without even realizing it.

    Having a companion who understands who you are, is an asset and can be lifechanging for some. I wouldn't view it as a negative. If you are lucky their weakness will be your forte and vice versa, that way a balance is reached. I'm sure that you have some very positive and unique gifts to offer someone, so don't feel childish or stupid.

    My partner told me this morning that i'm far too hard on myself. He's right of course. I can only do my best and that's all. Perhaps you too need to be kinder to yourself. Accepting who we are isn't easy, but once we do we open up many more doors to enable us to cope with lifes journey.

    I wish you well and hope your spirits lift.

    Take care,

    God Bless

    Coogybear. :)

Children
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