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Life is so hard

Debby

Ive only just joined. 
i didn’t know he was autistic when we met, We both worked. When we didn’t we met up. Life seemed great. He cared, he was nice to me, he took me places. No one had treated me that nice before. After a while we got engaged and then married. I didn’t live with him before we were married. He wanted it to be done right. Then we moved to france. He commuted for a couple of years while he sold his company, Then we started spending time together,

Things seemed strange sometimes but I made excuses and bumbled through, all my friends lost touch. They didn’t like how he treated me. Even his brother and sister in law. I cried a lot, 

After two breakdowns I now see him as he is. Autistic. I’m too scared to say anything about it although I bought a book (hidden in the hen house) and read it so I know that’s what it is.

im 62 and he is 70. We have been married for 20 years, 

im scared of him. Everything I say is wrong and he explodes.

I created this email without him knowing, God help me if he ever finds out I have reached out.

Parents

  • Hi and welcome. This sounds like a bad relationship, very unhealthy, you shouldn't be treated like this and you shouldn't be in constant fear of your husband. Autism isn’t an excuse to treat others badly. As Roy said, many are in relationships and they are good and happy ones.

    If I were you I would contact the National Abuse Helpline.

    This is their number: 0808 2000 247 It’s a 24hr number so they can be reached anytime.

    You might like to read through their website: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

    I was in a similar situation to you when I was 21 and the National Abuse Helpline were there for me then. I can't recommend them enough. They didn't just help me, but they were able to get my ex-bf help too. They might be able to suggest help for your husband.

    Please take care.

Reply

  • Hi and welcome. This sounds like a bad relationship, very unhealthy, you shouldn't be treated like this and you shouldn't be in constant fear of your husband. Autism isn’t an excuse to treat others badly. As Roy said, many are in relationships and they are good and happy ones.

    If I were you I would contact the National Abuse Helpline.

    This is their number: 0808 2000 247 It’s a 24hr number so they can be reached anytime.

    You might like to read through their website: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

    I was in a similar situation to you when I was 21 and the National Abuse Helpline were there for me then. I can't recommend them enough. They didn't just help me, but they were able to get my ex-bf help too. They might be able to suggest help for your husband.

    Please take care.

Children
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