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Reassurance

Take5

Hey everyone 

would really appreciate it if anyone had any experience (lived or witnessed) of the following please?

My son age 10 who is diagnosed autistic has for the last few months started to ask if everything is alright, this can be how he moves, how he carries out tasks, where he looks and what he thinks. He is driving himself crazy with this. I always reassure him and let him know he can come to me about anything and I will always listen but he really is struggling with this. Looking back this started post diagnosis last December. I don’t remember me being like this growing up but have always been overly self aware which caused me to constantly go over things I did or thought about. 

Does anyone have any experience of this? I feel so sad for him and just want to make him more comfortable. 

Thank you for reading 

Parents
  • Take5 said:
    My son age 10 who is diagnosed autistic has for the last few months started to ask if everything is alright, this can be how he moves, how he carries out tasks, where he looks and what he thinks.

    I would approach this by making him analise the question - if he is worried of eveything is OK then a normal person would survey the scene, gather information and make an informed decision.

    He is exhibiting a trauma response (as overwhelmed & underwhelmed (overwhelmed) suggests) so he needs to conciously apply the observation / evaluation process that we normally do subconciously.

    Get him to ask what would be normal in the sutuation - has anyone exhibited noticably different behaviour, has there been anything unusual happening, does anything appear wrong etc.

    Then is the situation appears normal then ask him why does he think he worries it it is abnormal - what is in the back of his mind, what does he think may be happening etc.

    Ideally these should be questions asked by a child psychologist for best impact / result but if he can articulate his fear then it means you can work on that issue much more effectively with him.

    These situational analysis skills will be very useful as life goes on for him, especially as an autist as we often don't understand what is expected so by looking for what is out of place we can assess when something is different and can try to identify what may be going on rather than being completely blindsided in a social faux pas.

  • in reply to Iain

    That’s great Lain. Thank you.
    He has had a few weeks away from his therapy as I was unwell and he was on holiday last week so I’ll obviously mention this to her. I have to be very careful as he very often asks me not to share things with her and I don’t want to give him reason to distrust me. 

    It’s almost like a ritual, like the wind down before bedtime or as we walk to school together…. It’s like he needs to download all those questions to me before he can get on with what he needs to do. 

    I am extremely patient with him and never make him feel bad for sharing things or taking them out on me.

    Really appreciate everyone’s responses you have all been really helpful 

Reply
  • in reply to Iain

    That’s great Lain. Thank you.
    He has had a few weeks away from his therapy as I was unwell and he was on holiday last week so I’ll obviously mention this to her. I have to be very careful as he very often asks me not to share things with her and I don’t want to give him reason to distrust me. 

    It’s almost like a ritual, like the wind down before bedtime or as we walk to school together…. It’s like he needs to download all those questions to me before he can get on with what he needs to do. 

    I am extremely patient with him and never make him feel bad for sharing things or taking them out on me.

    Really appreciate everyone’s responses you have all been really helpful 

Children
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