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Reassurance

Take5

Hey everyone 

would really appreciate it if anyone had any experience (lived or witnessed) of the following please?

My son age 10 who is diagnosed autistic has for the last few months started to ask if everything is alright, this can be how he moves, how he carries out tasks, where he looks and what he thinks. He is driving himself crazy with this. I always reassure him and let him know he can come to me about anything and I will always listen but he really is struggling with this. Looking back this started post diagnosis last December. I don’t remember me being like this growing up but have always been overly self aware which caused me to constantly go over things I did or thought about. 

Does anyone have any experience of this? I feel so sad for him and just want to make him more comfortable. 

Thank you for reading 

Parents

  • I did this as child as well. I can’t remember what age I was but I was definitely at school. First was asking if everything was ok, that came after my sister suffered an accident. I suddenly became aware my family might not be ok so I constantly asked about it, needing that reassurance to keep me calm. Second was at school. Some of my teachers weren’t so nice and called me out to the whole class, not paying attention, didn’t do well on that test did you, and I was being bullied because of those comments.

    All this caused a trauma that resulted in me asking for constant reassurance from my family because I was perpetually worried I was doing everything wrong. It became a big part of my anxiety and OCD, and I had to be reassured. One day my mum asked why I kept asking for reassurance, she and my dad were like you are with your son they always reassured me and put my mind at ease, but it wasn’t enough I always needed more reassurance because I guess part of me didn’t really believe it. When my mum asked at first I didn’t want to say but eventually I did and telling her about it and me always fearing I’m not doing things right. Talking to her really put me at ease and she got the problem sorted out ASAP. I changed schools and life was a lot easier and happier for me after that.

    This might not be any of what your son is going through, but I thought I would reply just in case it helps in any way. Can’t be nice for him or for you. I hope you can get to the bottom of this soon.

                                                                                                                                                               

  • in reply to Enchanted

    Thank you so much, it seems very similar but maybe for a different reason. He has had a lot to cope with lately what with his assessment and then there is an outreach worker coming to watch him in school which he knows about. I guess I just keep reassuring him and make sure I’m always available to listen to his concerns. 

  • in reply to Take5

    You’re welcome. Sorry I couldn’t be any more help. To be honest just knowing you are there whenever he needs you is probably the biggest most important thing you can do. Your son will appreciate your reassurance and knowing you’re there to listen to him when he needs to talk to you. He might be working up to talking to you, in the meantime keep doing what you are doing. It will be a comfort for him.

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  • in reply to Take5

    You’re welcome. Sorry I couldn’t be any more help. To be honest just knowing you are there whenever he needs you is probably the biggest most important thing you can do. Your son will appreciate your reassurance and knowing you’re there to listen to him when he needs to talk to you. He might be working up to talking to you, in the meantime keep doing what you are doing. It will be a comfort for him.

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