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How do I answer this ?

NAS75657

My Dad has read a book from the perspective of an Autistic person.  He felt the person was making excuses for traits that would certainly get a Neurotypical.person into trouble but from the authors point of view a an Autistic person shouldn’t be made accountable. for them. What do you all  think? 

  • Given your further explanation below:

    NAS75657 said:
    My Son is Autistic and while I know we can’t let him hurt himself, hurt others and he has to respect others property, there is a way of teaching it without punishing, especially if there is always a reason behind the behaviour.

    I'd suggest referring your father to these NAS resources, which explain the extent to which such behaviours can be unintentional and outside of our control:

    NAS - Distressed behaviour

    NAS - Meltdowns

    NAS - Self-injurious behaviour

    As these are published by a respected national charity, he might find them more persuasive than the book that he read.

    On the plus side, it seems encouraging that he was willing to read the book in the first place. That perhaps suggests a willingness to learn, even though it might take some time for his knowledge to build, and his opinions to change.

  • The ONLY thing that seems to have improved for me after my late life diagnosis is that now I know WTF is going on, I can mange my relationships a little better.

    I now know that compared to most other people I am less "reliable" in soe things, and thus I can 

    1: stop promising things I can;t deliver,

    2: Accept responsibilty for and apologise for some of my more egregrious failings of "servce delivery" 

    3. Not accept bullying and marginalisaton, particularly off my G/F. As soon as I realised that I was NOT N.T. & therefore unlikely to change my basic nature very much, I offered her an "out" from the relationship on teh grounds that she didn't sign up for this. She's declined it several times now, so BUT she does seem happier and a lot more accepting of aspects of me that seemed "uncaring" before. I OTOH also try to be a bit nicer in my aspect and "own" my "bad days" a lot more. 

    Since my diagnososis I've only ever had to ask her ONCE "why are you ragging on me for somethng we both know I can't do very much about?" 

    People kinda understand once they realise that you are ARE constantly "up against it" in certain ways admn not just "taking advantage" (whatevr that actually means, in an autistic context)...